He broke NC, I responded, did responding make him disappear again?

[Jillnevingal]

I split up with my boyfriend 10 weeks ago. We were together 5 years. We spoke after the break up but it never went well. He never asked me to go back to him. We had NC for the last 7 weeks, then in the last few days I finally heard from him. He sent me an email to say sorry for his part in things. I sent an email back thanking him for his email.

 

Will he be in touch again?? Should I have stayed in NC in spite of his email in order for him to miss me even more??

 

I feel like maybe my quick response and the fact that i responded has made him miss me less again.

 

Any thoughts?

[Starbourne]

who dumped who?

[Jillnevingal]

I broke up with him, but he said that he had been wanting us to break up which is why our relationship was bad at the end but he didnt know how to tell me. He said that when i said I wanted to separate.

[Jillnevingal]

Do you think I will hear from him again??

[Brigadoon]

I'd say seven weeks is a good length of time for NC. Can you handle talking to him? Do you want to reconcile? Either way you have responded so the ball is in his court now so no need to worry about that aspect.

If you want to at least leave the possibility of reconciliation open then go NIC/ LC and see what happens I'd say.

I'd go against the advice of some people here who would say NC all the way if you think you may want to stay separated and instead go with NIC/ LC. I found this helped me to finally move on as I was seeing my ex as he actually is and not the romantised version that I had built up in my head.

That and it's always nice to have some form of interaction post break up that doesn't leave you with painful memories. :sad:

[kodak]

What is NIC?

[Jillnevingal]

Yes what is NIC!

[doiiiieeezie]

Non Initial Contact in which you break the NC first.

[shessofly]

he may have written that letter just to clear the air and apologize for the mistakes he made, with no further intentions. i don't think your response or lack thereof will have any effect on whether he contacts you again. if he wants to reconcile, i think he will let you know.

[Jillnevingal]

So I guess I am again going for NIC (he emailed, i responded, now will wait and not contact him)

 

Maybe a can get a mans opinion on this... will he contact me again? Does he miss me now that its been nearly 2 months?

 

Maybe he has been starting to date and that made him miss me or realise he doesnt have me anymore, because I hadnt been in touch in 7 weeks he became curious?

 

Doing NIC is right in this case, yes?

[Brigadoon]

I use it in the sense that I never reach out to contact my ex but that when he contacts me I will converse with him.

I should say used to because I've gone as far as I need to go with him and have now gone back into pretty much permanent NC (he isn't aware of it yet) barring situations where I will have to say hello, make polite conversation etc.

No more ex texting situations; yay!

[Live-N-Learn]

I split up with my boyfriend 10 weeks ago. We were together 5 years. We spoke after the break up but it never went well. He never asked me to go back to him. We had NC for the last 7 weeks, then in the last few days I finally heard from him. He sent me an email to say sorry for his part in things. I sent an email back thanking him for his email.

 

Will he be in touch again?? Should I have stayed in NC in spite of his email in order for him to miss me even more??

 

I feel like maybe my quick response and the fact that i responded has made him miss me less again.

 

Any thoughts?

 

How quickly was your response? If it was the same day then yes, you look a little too anxious. I don't think responding was wrong. It was the mature thing to do. I do not know if he will contact you again or not, this may have been his closure letter. Stay NC and see what happens. He obviously is thinking about you and I suspect he will reach out again.

[Convict7]

I can tell you from last night, don't push for contact unless you are BOTH ready for it. If you really want to be talking to him again, let him email you so you are sure he wants it too. Inadvertently pushing him into contact before he has settled his feelings will only lead to heartbreak for both of you. It's true. It just happened to me. Let him go at his own pace, if he wants to talk again you will be hearing from him.