My family wants to chage me!

[butterfly_chic578]

My dad my grandma and my sister all want me to chage the way i look i mean yeah i not really happy bout it but it works i have a bf and all ( other problems with him in post "my boyfrineds wants to have sex and i dono what to do.....") but their always telling me "o no that makes u look fat" i hate it and my dad says (with real meaning to it) "u have to lose weight" and i always say y and he says (and i quote) "cause u have our family name and i dont want u to look like this" im happy with my apperance and they arnt they just wont accept me and i hate it. i felt great until my dad started to say stuff and im not all that big im just 139 i have chub and i know it but not alot. my sister who is 16 also acts the same way we get into fight it at then end its always "at least im not fat"

i wish there was some quick easy way that doesnt take up much time to look better why do we have to be judged by apperence??? i get it at school too this guy (who happens to have the same name as me but in a boy way) Alex is always calling my fatty and it really pisses me off i am constanly in iss for hitting him and leaving a mark. i wish i would jst die i dont wanna commit suicide or anything but i want someone to hurt me i mean sometimes i sit there and wish that i would jsut for no reason go missing for a week just to make them feel bad..... i wanna move out ...... and i love my dreams where i get phyically hurt from people i dono cause it make me fells better when people hit me (is that werird or what?) but i wish that everyone would just leave me alone thats why i come to u my fellow people im hoping that yall can make me feel better bout my self.... somehow...

[butterfly_chic578]

ANYONE!!!

[piscesprincess]

Up until I was 17, I was 103 pounds. I did not get my period or even have boobs until then. But, I went away to boarding school for 9 months and bam! I gained 23 pounds. Every commented n my weight. Tough I was no fat, it was a shoc for peope to see me from a size 0-4 & an "A" to "C" cup bra.

I was depressed for awhile and got an eating disorder. I lost 10 pounds, everyone said how good I looked. From then on, I had fluctuating weight. When I was 20 I went up to 140 pounds! My brother was in the military & in great shape. Everyone would compare us- I was the chubby & dumpy one.

Thus, the vicious cycle started again, I lst 20 pounds in 2 months, that summer. I met my boyfriend at that time. My self esteem was high because ment gave me alot of attention. But deep down I was lonely. People did not want to egt down to the surface.

 

I hate to say it, but people are superficial. I spent many nights crying & sleep deprived just to lose weight. Now I am 122 pounds (5'3") which is healthy. I had bullemia & anorexia--not very happy disorders.

 

My advice is, life is not easy. What is really important is not what others think of you, but what you think of you. At 23, I still have issues. Therapy helps you to accept yourself. i t is always helpful to have an objective 3rd party to give their advice b/c family loves you so much. Unfortunately, they are the first one's to tear you down. In conclusion, are you happy with you appearance? Just b/c they obviously have their own issues about weight, doesn't mean you have too!

 

Keep smiling & good luck

[Francis]

It is a bit sad that your family, who should be there to support you, be telling you these things. May be they want the best for you (may be, they want you to look good), but they are only lowering your self-esteem and harming you for life. They may give you a long lasting weight problem.

 

May be they just want to pick on you for whatever emotional problems they have. I am just very happy to see that you are very strong and standing your ground : most kids have difficulty with that.

 

If there is a psychologist at school, why won't you try to speak with him or her and let the psychologist write or talk to your parents about your feelings. They will probably shut up for a while, out of shame.

 

If your parents want to be good Christians, you can tell them that they are very superficial and that their role is to love you unconditionally. We don't have enough information about your family to advice you properly. To seal their lips, you must use something to ashame them of being so petty and superficial, then they will shut up forever.

 

Take care!