newyguy39 Posted May 8, 2010 Share Posted May 8, 2010 Hey all, Its been at least a couple of years since Ive been on here! I even forgot my username (whoops lol). And yet here I am once again, looking for a bit of advice. Since I was last on here, another girl has been and gone. We were going out for a year and a bit. So the story is that im from a relatively small town, and after I met this girl and started going out with her, it was about a year until I needed to move away to the city (about 500kms away) to start university. Things were pretty good over the year, we had some fairly grand plans, she was going to move with me about 6 months after I moved there, and see where things went from there. It got to about 3 months before I needed to move, and she basically freaked out, telling me that she couldnt do it and move away. We sorted it out and continued on for another 2 months, then she freaked out again and did the same. I took a stand to it and basically said she needs to be sure of what she wants before we can go any furthur. So we kept seeing each other and worked on things, she was getting on well with sorting herself out. Then I moved to start uni, back in February. I had every intention of getting back with her after she had herself sorted out. And so did she... Then about 2 weeks in, she apparently 'woke up' one day and felt nothing for me, and she seemed fine with it. So that hurt a fair bit, but we continued talking. Which was a bad move. She started partying a lot, going out and getting trashed every weekend and posting about it on facebook like it was some kind of acheivement (When I was with her she wouldnt drink at all!), and putting up some fairly revealing pictures on there. That really hurt. I decided to delete her and got her to set all of her stuff to private. Since then, we have talked on and off, we met up once for lunch when i was back at home for a week, and I ended up finding she was taking things as badly as I was, which was nice to know. I was still hurting a lot, but knowing that helped. She wasnt over the past either. So fast forward to now, Ive had weeks where I feel ok with things, and weeks where it all comes flooding back, and I just want her to come back. And this is one of those weeks. Its awful, I cant get her out of my head, recurring dreams, and swinging between being sad and angry that it didnt work out. Every time I think im getting somewhere and get that bit furthur to letting it go, it all floods back. To add to the story, a few weeks ago when we were talking, i was encouraging her to talk to me more, and to not block me out... But saying that seems to have had the opposite effect, I havent talked to her for 3 weeks or so. But I find myself loathing being single. But I kno I have to wait for the right person to come along. Am I better off to forget the new relationship thing completely for now, or keep looking for someone to be with and keep feeling like im not getting anywhere? Either way it seems crap. The worst thing is that Ill be going back home in a few weeks over the month-and-a-half uni break. And theres a good chance Ill be working at the shop about 2 doors up from where she works. Urgh She is a good person and she has tried to help me, but has managed to mess it up every time (eg something she thinks will help, is the exact thing that makes me feel worse). And the fact that she was such a good person makes me even more frustrated, because I know that I cant be with her again. Shes very mature, yet really immature... I doubt she'll ever leave that town, mainly because her family is so tight-knit. She has a small-country-town mentality, which is mainly due to her family. I was always hopeful she'd break away from that, but she chickened out once she got out of her comfort zone. She has a lot of growing up to do. Although, at 18 (and im 21) nobody is ever mature, hey... Im not sure what I should do. Getting back together isnt really an option, due to her seeming like she'll never move away from that town. We're going our separate ways as time goes on. Im not sure if I should just let it go and hope I meet someone like her in the future, or keep the hope that itll some day work out, and she'll realise what shes missing out on. I still like her a lot, but every time I try to get that little bit closer to her, she moves even furthur away. If i try to talk to her to see how shes going, she just gives very vauge answers to any of my questions. Any opinons? Im not really sure what im even asking here, but just being about to type it up makes me feel better for now. Thanks for listening everyone Link to comment
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