Dealing with ex and his famiy while he's away for a year

[nightlady]

My ex is in Afghanistan for the next year, this is 2nd time he has been over there. He has email and emails my son at lesat 2x a week. My son doesnt know how to type and took him half hour to write 3 sentances,and I pretty much had to force him to do it. He's only 8 and isnt much for phone or email right now. I told my ex it was frustrating for him and that i would have him just write letters, which is easier for him. Now my exs mom is calling and complaining to me and my son that there is no reason that an 8 year old cant type! Im so tired of this petty drama. My son doesn't want to see his grandma because of the way they treat him emotionally and im being accused of keeping him from them. ANy advice would be appreciated.

[metrogirl]

Does your ex have access to a webcam over there?

 

I couldn't imagine asking my 8 year old grandson to type anything. At that age they don't even like to write, I can't imagine the poor little guy typing everything out.

 

I don't know what to tell you about the ex's mom. Maybe a little more info would be helpful.

[DN]

Why can't your son tell you what to say and you type it for him?

[metrogirl]

Why can't your son tell you what to say and you type it for him?

 

I thought about that too. It's not like the ex is going to know who typed it out. Well obviously typos and such but really, he wouldn't even have a clue.

[eggplant47]

Hand written letters are perfectly exceptable! And as time goes on, your ex will find them far more of a treasure than a bunch of deleted e-mails!

 

Set some boundries with your inlaws. Granted they are your child's family so you will have to have some contact with them regarding his attending family events. But since they are also your x in laws, they have no say when it comes to how you parent your child. Let them know that you are doing the best you can as a virtually single parents while his dad is away. Then firmly tell them what subjects you are & are not willing to participate in with them. Any concerns they have about how your child interacts with them/his dad they can discuss/complain about privately to his father.

[doesitmatter30]

Have your son write a letter, and then type it in for him and send it on to his dad. but keep the real letter for him for when he comes back. or scan the real letter as a photo and send that. He probably doesn't like typing because you have to sit there and do it, he's not used to it, and the keyboards layed out funny... I used to wonder why it wasn't in ABC order when i was small.

[nightlady]

i thougha bout typing it too , but i have carpel tunnel and I have enough problems of my own typing. I have him writing letters. Even that his hard for him when he just wants to go outside and play with his friends. I feel liek I have to force him to write his dad which hes already getting upset about.

[DN]

Well, somehow this does need to happen - both he and his father should have a relationship and at the moment e-mails are the best way. So he does need your help and encouragement.

 

You could invest in voice recognition software that types what he says. link removed

[turnera]

Why can't they both get webcams?

 

Re: your in-laws, just go with him when he visits, and if you see them harming him in any way, defend him; if they don't stop, tell them WHY you are leaving.

[nightlady]

You could invest in voice recognition software that types what he says. link removed

Not an option, as I cant even pay my electric bill, and dad wont help and still havent gotten child support since hes been over there

 

 

Why can't they both get webcams?

 

Re: your in-laws, just go with him when he visits, and if you see them harming him in any way, defend him; if they don't stop, tell them WHY you are leaving.

 

My exMIL bought my son a webcam 2 years ago and never has asked to use it. Shes just one that causes problems no matter what you try to resolve.

[DN]

Well, I think you have a responsibility to find a solution to this - the boy needs to establish a relationship with his father and you are the only one who can facilitate it.

[turnera]

Not an option, as I cant even pay my electric bill, and dad wont help and still havent gotten child support since hes been over there

 

 

 

 

My exMIL bought my son a webcam 2 years ago and never has asked to use it. Shes just one that causes problems no matter what you try to resolve.

 

So what? Makes no difference what anyone besides you, your exH, and your son do.

 

YOU are the one trying to get son and father together. If you have to, install the webcams yourself, and teach them both how to use it.