2 years w/o dating,shy when it comes to girls, tried to change, but a problem..

[Josh19]

For everyone to know, this is my friends eNotAlone account, all other threads were created by him, not me.

I cannot create an account for some odd reason, it links me to link removed everytime I try to register, probably a virus.

If anyone knows a solution, leave me a message

 

I'm 18, going to college in 6 months, and staying there for 12 years to fulfil my life.

Basically, I've been talking to girls to maybe strike my confidence, but now half of them want to hangout or date.

 

Here's the things, I've been exlcuded from the some-what social-life for 2 years now. I haven't even tried to talk to a girl during these 2 years, simply because I was just too shy. I finally came to a point in my life where I want to change that, try to control the shyness. Things come and go, so why not plainly ask out a girl and take no for an answer without feeling weird or embarrased. So I came to the point where I would do that, now I have a problem. I've been talking to several girls, some on the internet(that I know in real-life), some in person, some on the phone, and then one I've been talking to over-seas(but i've known her my whole life).

 

The reason for me to start talking to all these girls was not because I feel alone or just want to date, cause im actually pretty independent, but to simply give me more confidence, make my self feel proud about myself. I want to ease my shyness down so I will feel more confident for the times to come. I am not doing this by completely over-hauling myself to someone i'm not. I'm the same person, I just say/do more things I wouldn't normally do. And the outcomes seem great, actually the complete opposite of what I thought would happen back when I didn't even speak to a girl because I thought the outcome would be so embarrasing or funny to them.

 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a very quiet person, i'm actually pretty firm in a kind type of manner and speak up a lot. The only thing I'm shy with is when it comes to girls and talking to them. I get a tingle feeling inside when I talk to them, and tend to get extremely nervous. But, i've changed all this by talking to some girls to help get my confidence up, now I have a pretty big problem.

 

I haven't actually asked any of these girls out, just trying to make friends and socialize more. Let me give you a breif list before I continue.

 

Girl 1 - I've known her my entire life. I ended up having sex before even having my first kiss ever with this girl. We have always flirted and all, but I don't see her as someone I want to date like she does. She lives accross seas but is coming back in about 4 years. She wants to have a serious relationship when I get back, but I don't want to wait 4 years!

 

Girl 2 - I haven't even met this girl in person, but we've been talking about 2 weeks now on myspace, facebook, texting and every now and then we talk on the phone. She recently asked to hang-out and get to know each other more, maybe even try a relationship.

 

Girl 3 - My ex. We didn't break up for the wrong reason, her mom just didn't want her dating anyone at the time. This was 2 years ago, I was 16, she was 14. Now shes 16 and Im 18. She is wanting to get-together again and hang out sometime because I saw her about 2 weeks ago at the local grocery store. So i talked to her, asked for her number, she gave it. Not sure if she wants to date, but usually hanging out with your ex can lead to dating.

 

Girl 4 - She does not have internet or even a computer. We talk on the phone every now and then, when she calls. I barely know her, she went to elementary school with me but we were only aquantinces. Now we talk a little, we know more about each other, but now she wants to 'chill' and 'hangout' with me sometime.

 

 

There a couple more girls who fit the descriptions above, so I won't bother listing them.

Also note I put Girl 1, etc on purpose because I'd rather not list their actual names.

 

Now your probably wondering, why not just pick a girl and give it a try, then tell no to the others..

I want to, but it's kind of hard. All the girls want to do is hang out with me, not try to start a relationship, but I know it will be coming at some point in time.

 

I used to believe that I wasn't good enough for any of the girls at my school, because there were plenty of better looking guys than me. I didn't want to be in any 'posses', because I mainly hung out with people I knew my whole life.

Well that reason has changed in my mind, seeing as how these girls I thought would never like me, actually do. And it seems confidence is the main KEY.

 

What advice can you give to someone who used to care what everyone thought about them, then they changed that and realized that not all things thought about them was actually bad?

 

Sorry for the run-on sentences.

[freurmynd]

keep working it, sounds liek you are doing great. and just because you go out with someone , doesnt mean you have to be dating.. so one step at a time. group things i find easier , because theres someone else ther eto take some of the social pressure off, but eventually your gonna do the one on one thing. so when you do, at least to start, try and pick someone you are comfortable with talking. its kind of like excersize, the more you do it, the easier it becomes...

[LifeGoesOn09]

Yeah mate sounds like you're doing well. And I really really don't get what the hell drama is about lol?!?!