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[starlitewalker]

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[bleeder]

Hi Starlitewalker,

 

I hope I am getting this right.

 

In my opinion, I feel that he is making use of you to fill that void of his. Sexually and emotionally. He wants to let you go yet wants you around to fulfill his needs.

 

Utterly selfish. If you can, walk away totally and don't look back. I don't think he is worth your time, efforts nor constant worry.

 

All the best.

[johnagent1911]

Agreed.

[xxatti]

Yep.

[porkshop]

"I soon after was told that we should "just be friends" and he no longer was feeling the feelings for me he had going. he said he just doesn't see us ever working out in the long run and being happy."

 

i totally agree. What more does he need to say to you, he's using you and you deserve better. this guy has a nerve to not only dump you but play around with you feelings and string you along to have sex with you and feed his ego, but this is partly up to you for letting him. If he really cared about you he'd want you to be together or as a friend he'd respect you and not have sex with you when he knows its not just about sex for you and that you have feelings for him. if he doesnt know this, from you pretending to not care, then he's got his cake and eating it still, a friend who wants to have sex with him, he's not going to want a commitment of a relationship if he has that already.Yeh i do think a guy will drive 8 hours to have sex. you really should not meet up with this guy, you can do so much better, believe me i've been treat in a similar way in the past by an ex boyfriend. Sorry to sound so harsh but i really think from what you've said you'd feel so much better to get this guy out of your life and find someone who really appreciates you.

[Belle]

starlite,

 

The guys are right. He's using you. I believe the only way you could possibly get him back is to cut him off. But good lord, why would you want a user back? After the first time I broke up with my ex and went back he said he didn't know what he wanted but still wanted to see me, for sex. He didn't have to say it. It was fairly obvious. I didn't go. I'm not stupid. He had strung his last girlfriend along for a year when he dumped her for me so he clearly used her too for that security blanket until he met someone better.

 

Fortunately, I saw his pattern with her and wasn't going to put myself through that degradation. Why are you allowing your guy to?

 

If you didn't love the guy I'd say what the hey, use him back. But you do so you're just prolonging the confusion and pain.

 

If I were you I'd protect myself and run away.

 

Belle

[starlitewalker]

have to erase 4 years later!!

[kate111]

Be strong. Do not go on that trip!

 

If you keep sleeping with him because it is the only thing you can get this will make him colder and colder towards you.

 

He will think you are desperate and a loser.

 

Please do not delude yourself that sleeping with him is going to make him love you back. Have you heard the saying "why buy the cow if the milk is free"?

 

He does have some feelings for you, because he is worried about you going out with other men.

 

You can intensify his feelings for you by not being so available. Just make other plans and stop answering his calls. He may realise what he is missing and come back.

 

I say this as a woman: If you keep sleeping with him you are definitely not going to get over him. If you keep doing it then it is only a matter of time before he meets someone else and drops you like a tonne of bricks.Then you will be feeling ten times worse than if you leave now with your self respect.

[bleeder]

Kate111 mentioned some good advice there.

 

Sleeping with him further would just drag you down into desolation and despair, deeper into the mire. Don't go down that road. It's about time you started your life anew, without him that is.

 

Be well!