I was doing SO good. Any tips ?

[ellymay]

kso, I was doing so good. I havent cut, or had the need for this website in a LONG TIME !

 

Just recently things have been crumbling. Last week, on Wed night. I was under the influence (something i've been doing a lot of lately to make it feel better) and I cut myself, with a razor blade (cleaned properly) and i've never used a blade like that before. the cuts aren't deep, but every single day since then i'd do one or three. then i'd wake up and go to school happy, and i don't even have to fake it that much.

 

I wanna know how to stop again, and how other people have been able to stop. I know it's different for everyone but i'd love some pointers.

[hannah_k]

Have you talked to anyone about it?

[ellymay]

I used to. But my mom has a hard enough time as it is. And i've never been one to talk about my feelings. Always had to be the strong one, since me and my mom are alone. A couple of my best friends have noticed, one cuts and one doesnt. So the one who doesnt is obv. worried, but when she noticed i was still smiling and laughing she left it alone.

 

I'm just so disappointed. I really was doing so well. =/

[misssmithviii]

What exactly are you under the influence of? The expression itself of "being under the influence" is testament to how mind-altering substances can, well... alter your mindset. Whether you think it makes you feel better or not, have you considered the thought it may be a crutch that's only inhibiting your progress to stop cutting?

[ellymay]

I never thought about it like that. And when i refer to myself as "under the influence" i'm referring to smoking weed. I never before thought that maybe it was making me cut. I've gotten high months and months before this, and cutting has never crossed my mind. Also before just recently, i've never been able to explain why i cut, but now, I have a reason. A stupid reason to some, but it's my reason. =/

 

btw, you're are extremely pretty. i'm sure you get that all the time. ( :

[misssmithviii]

Since you have ruled out weed as a factor in your cutting, (although I personally suggest you reconsider using at all), have you considered it's related to something you're going through in life?

 

Just as using drugs, cutting is a coping mechanism... a way of dealing with something. Many describe it as (from people I've encountered within my life) "making the pain physical" so they can deal with it essentially.

Is there a connection at all?

 

And thank you for the compliment That's very sweet of you.

[ellymay]

I think I know for a fact that I cut because i'm going through rough times. Before, when i wasn't cutting, i'd be really upset, you could tell. But this last week that i've started again, i'm actually happy. And i know that probably sounds really twisted and sick but I have been. I havent had to fake happiness much (which i used to do all the time)

 

And I agree with you. the weed does need to stop. but before it wasnt a "coping mechanism", it was just something to do in the town i live in. not much else to do so the kids around here smoke weed.

 

And you are very welcome ( :

[misssmithviii]

Now that it has become a coping mechanism, it's even more difficult to stop - however it's already a very good sign that you're able to be self-aware enough to admit it, and to be open about stopping a drug that could be affecting your better judgement.

 

The next time you feel like you need to inflict the pain upon yourself, go outside and do something you love. I say go outside because I'm assuming you're not going to take a razor to your arm in public. Do something you love, get your mind off of the urges.

Throw away every razor in your house (or where you live), keep objects that you'd normally use to cut with in a place not so easily accessible. I know sharp objects are a part of what every household has, but this simple step might help.

 

I had a friend who I used to be very close to, who cut frequently. She used kitchen knives and although seemed very happy, and refused to admit otherwise, she was quite disturbed. She needed the attention and couldn't deal with her pain inside, so she translated the pain to a form that could heal (physical). After years, she's finally stopped and I think the biggest step she took was just literally leaving the house or where ever she was that she was going to cut and she'd fully immerse herself into something else - something actually productive (like the sport we shared).

 

I really do hope things get better for you and that you begin taking steps away from this behavior. My sister (we don't talk anymore) cut so much when she was my age (19) that her arms are covered in scars and she's gotten turned down at many jobs because of it. People started to become less attracted to her in general because it had become too obvious and it's true when they say people like happy people.

 

If not for the scars, do it for your mental status, for yourself. There are many cases where self-inflicting behavior (unbeknownst to the person) can escalate too far. Many faulty coping mechanisms end up that way.

 

If you ever feel this way, feel free to message me here and I'll give you my email.

 

 

[ellymay]

That's a lot to take in, Thank-you so much. You were extremely helpful. ( :

[misssmithviii]

^_^ of course. And I'm glad I could do something for you.

[No One]

Weed's not making u cut - u r!

[Of course, weed's going 2 do nothing positive 4 u, at all!]

 

My advice - find a way (some good advice above!!) to cope without the cutting, because it doesn't take long to turn it into a habit (or compulsion, or addiction); be suprised it doesn't.

[bellacullen]

I have used the method of if you dont do it for a ... set a time and if you dont do it give yourself something! I reward myself every month now but before it was at least ever week . I havent done it in 1year 2 months

[gypsy_girl]

hey

here is my 2 cents, hope it helps..

find another thing or things you enjoy and do them when you feel like it.

 

Now I know that sounds silly but it worked for me! not straight away of course, but eventually, because i kept at it, even when i was a complete utter mess.

 

For me those things were walking and reading. Walking is AMAZING. it clears your head and cheers you up even if only for a while. and reading is also awesome because you get lost in different worlds and forget about your own for a while.

 

Some people say art and stuff helps? or an instrument.

 

The thing is it will almost definitely fail the first couple of times, maybe more, but once you do it once youll remember how it feels again

 

all the best x