how to get over this?

[ehart]

My ex boyfriend of 3 years was emotionaly abusive in ways where he would accuse me of being with guys or wanting attention when he knew deap down I did NOTHING in 3 years to damage trust. I truly love him. During our relationship he cheated on me and I had found him in a total of 8 lies involving other girls in our 3 years together. Over time I was constantly stressed, constantly worried and felt like I was walking on egg shells with him. My self esteem took a turn for the worst with his actions and I did so much for him and bent over backwards for him to only dump me so easily 2 months ago because "I was to stressed".. uhh well ya he gave me every reason to be!! well what bothers me the most other than my completely broke heart, is that he is telling people that i was a constant stress case and didnt treat him well!! This makes me so incredibly upset because I never left him, cooked for him, cleaned for him, truly loved him and stook by him when he lost all of his friends for the sh** he did to me!! i had written a letter to him about a week ago after i heard what he was saying and left it on his car windshield. I explained to him that through the 3 years he damaged my self esteem a lot when all i did was love him. I never deserved the cheating and lying because i was nothing but loyal to him and that when i was upset it was the consequence of his awful actions. I told him that i was constantly worried i would get hurt again because it kept on happening and that it wasnt me that ruined our relationship. I got no reply in any means but i cant seem to shake the frustration I have that he is saying these things. He has alot of friends that are girls because he can not keep guy friends at all and I know they gossip with him about me because they havent seen his true not so great side to him but it annoys me so much. How do i get over this??

[Sanesoul]

Just keeping thinking about his flaws and the way he hurt you.

 

You are lucky to be done with this loser, and deserve so much better.

 

Don't worry about what he is saying, it's just another attempt by him to hurt you. What a scumbag.

[ehart]

I know deep down he is not a good person. I didnt realise what an emotional abuser was up until 6 months ago and my ex is one completely! he is a huge manipulator even making up lies about his health to get my attention after i put my foot down and said no contact i need to heal and changed my number. It just upsets me that people are listening to him saying I was such a bad girlfriend when i was the one put through hell to top it off he even made out with a girl infront of me at an event we both happened to be at then took her home I just hope that people dont think bad things about me because I built my life up around him a sacraficed so much. He doesnt even realise what he threw away.

[restingpieces]

I know deep down he is not a good person.

 

I don't like this. I hope this is a wave of anger; we all have them, so this is forgiveable. But please don't go through the rest of your days thinking negatively of him - it'll carry into your next relationship and if your past comes up, it may be something you choose to divulge to your new partner and you run risk of them leaving. Having poor opinions of your former lovers is a clear indicator, to any experienced dater, to bail.

 

However, it sounds as though you may have been dating a sociopath or narcissist. They are not evil people and most aren't serial killers but they are not wired like the rest of humans... things are just all about them, their needs, etc. They can't help it unless they really want to. If you're interested in looking into this, or perhaps to familiarize yourself with the potential of stumbling upon a sociopath (1 in every 25 people!!!!!!), read: The Sociopath Next Door.

[yonanz]

I know deep down he is not a good person. I didnt realise what an emotional abuser was up until 6 months ago and my ex is one completely! he is a huge manipulator even making up lies about his health to get my attention after i put my foot down and said no contact i need to heal and changed my number. It just upsets me that people are listening to him saying I was such a bad girlfriend when i was the one put through hell to top it off he even made out with a girl infront of me at an event we both happened to be at then took her home I just hope that people dont think bad things about me because I built my life up around him a sacraficed so much. He doesnt even realise what he threw away.

 

men are stupid and do stupid things, period. stay strong girl!

[ehart]

I looked up the sociopath website and im speachless. My ex is ABSOLUTLY a sociopath. Cant keep friends (unless girls), cant keep jobs, blames alot of people for his faults, constant lier and exagerator and has the most unrealistic goals and cheats. I dont know if this makes me in a way relieved to kinda understand his actions now or more sad because i thought our relationship was special and in the definition of a sociopath it says we are "victims". I just dont know how to cope with the fact that I was actually and still am in love with him and that he just dropped 3 years so fast and blamed me when i did nothing wrong. I dont know how to heal a broken heart. I just want to wake up with no memories of him. I am so down, I tend to have some good days but its so hard to accept this. when does it get better??