can anyone shed light on my situation???

[confued]

My kids father and I have been sexually involvled for 10 years. we were never in a "relationship" during this time just always expressed our love for each other and enjoyed the time we spent together when we could.

 

Recently he decided to move in with me and give us another try. We were happy for about a week. We took a road trip to move the rest of his things and while driving two different cars home he accused me of texting another man. When we got home things went down hill. He said that he could never trust me and that we were not going to work. He said that since he had move to a new state that he would stay with me until he got on his feet and then move out because he did not want to leave his daughter.

 

We sleep in the same bed everynight are sexually active but he says that we are just friends. I am really confused by this as he says that he loves me but he knows that we cannot be together because I cannot be faithful to him. I never text anyone that night and he is the only man that I have been with in about a year but he does not believe this.

 

I love him deeply and each day that goes past I love him more. I try not to say anything to upset him because he might leave and ma /and his daughter are totally happy with him being there. I have been doing things to show him that I love him and that he can trust me and all he does is bring up things in the past that never happened. He says that he knows I love him and that I want to be faithful to him but I just can't. This alone confuses me because he has no evidence that i ever cheated or texted anyone.

 

I have spoent the last few days/nights crying because it took 9+years for him to even try to be with me and in a weeks time he has given up. My question is do I remain hopeful that while he is living with me he will see that I am/can be faithful or do I just press pause on my feelings?

[Sanesoul]

I think he has serious issues.

 

I don't know why he is projecting on you if you've never given him reason not to trust you. I wouldn't put up with it, and I sure as hell wouldn't let him have sex with me, but be "just friends".

 

That's him having his fun while not committing to you.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Why were you never in a relationship with him? Did he never want to be in a relationship with you? I have to wonder if he is the one who has never been faithful to you.

 

He said that since he had move to a new state that he would stay with me until he got on his feet and then move out because he did not want to leave his daughter.

 

I wonder if his master plan was to move to the new state in order to be closer to his daughter...he figured he needed some time to adjust so he did this whole "I will move in with you and be a couple with you" act so that it would smooth his transition to the new State. Something tells me that he never had any intentions of being a couple with you...he has just used you so that he can have a place to stay and is now picking a fight with you in order to get out of committing to you. I would throw him out on his butt now and let him fend for himself.

[Her Lady]

I so agree with CrazyaboutDogs. I think she hit the nail directly on the head.

[confued]

We were in a relationship for a year but broke up because of his suspicions. Currently we have a "relationship" (everything that comes with it) with the exception of him saying that we are just friends. My daughter has become attached to him so I don't want to throw him out as it will hurt her.

[confued]

Thank you! I do agree but I am confused because on a daily basis he tells me that he loves me and appears to care.

[wildchild1]

This goes beyond immaturity. This man is playing on you and your emotions like a violin.

 

Its my opinion staying with this man will do far more damage to you and your child then if he left the pseudo-relationship. You'll be role modeling the Anti-thesis of a caring relationship if you stay.

[confued]

thanks wildchild! good advice easier said than done!