abusive ex keeps trying to contact me

[blueroses7234]

hey everyone. a little less than 3 months ago, i got up the courage to tell my abusive then-boyfriend that i never wanted to speak to or see him again. since then, he has shown no ability to respect boundaries. he showed up outside my class one day, after which i emailed him telling him that i specifically told him i didn't want to see him, and i even (at the advice of my therapist) threatened to get the university/police involved if he contacted/came to see me again without my permission. since THEN, he's sent me a number of emails (all of which i deleted without reading, mind you) with various subject lines such as "apology," "apology again," etc. i thought i'd blocked his email address from my account, but realized tonight that i never pressed "save changes." oops lol. anyway, just tonight i was thinking about how well i've been doing without him and how much progress i've made. my life has totally changed for the better since breaking up with him. sure, i still have my sad moments, but whenever i do, i just remember all of the horrible, abusive things he said/did to me. anyway, tonight i got home (about 20 minutes ago), and opened my email only to see a message from him whose subject line read "fresh start." i immediately broke down. i was feeling so many emotions, some of which were undistinguishable, but the others included sadness, frustration, and the fact that i can't BELIEVE he 1) tried to contact me again, and 2) said he wanted a "fresh start." (this is when i went into my security options on my email and officially blocked his email address.) for some reason i feel sorry for him, but mostly i'm just shocked at his behavior. i've just begun to come to terms with this whole experience. this was my first relationship. i can't believe it turned out this way. thoughts? advice? have any of you ever been in a similar situation?

[Is]

He abused you before, and I am sure he will again. People do not change easy. I seen many times my friends go back to abusive boyfriends and say " They changed" when nothing ever changes at all. He will more likely this time to pressure you in for good though violence or threats.

 

I never forgive abusive relationships, DON'T BE A VICTIM AGAIN!

 

In life you only get one change and I believe he ruined his.

[tackles]

What kind of things did he say and do to you?

[blueroses7234]

I would never go back to him. I just wish all of this trying to contact me would stop. Not once have I replied to him, and I'm not going to reply to him this time either.

He would do things like hit himself in the head/hit his head violently against the wall if I did something that "made him mad." He has a horrible temper and I would live in fear of doing some little thing that would set him off. One time we were driving and he took his hands off the wheel to scare me when he was in the middle of yelling at me. He grabbed me really hard on several occasions and there were bruises on my arms the next day. He would throw things at me and call me horrible names. He also threatened many times to hit me. Those are just some examples..

[Catdancer]

Girl, I am so proud of you. It takes a very strong woman to get away from someone like that and stay away. Have you looked into a restraining order? If there is a restraining order in place he cant email, call or have any contact with you or they will throw him in jail. It's something to think about. Also, I would alert the campus police and be sure that you do not put yourself in a position of vunerability, like walking accross campus at night alone. Just be safe and strong. Hugs to you!

[metrogirl]

Not many women can do what you just did. Abusers don't like to feel defeated and what you did was defeat him. He's naturally going to continue trying to get in contact with you because at this point, he needs to prove to himself that he still has some control over you.

 

You are doing well, continue with that. Stay strong and positive.

[sidehop]

You are a very strong person with a lot of respect for yourself. If he does try to contact you by person or you feel threatened, don't hesitate to put a restraining order against him if it's necessary.