His ex = my problem

[lovelost]

Someone please tell what to do. I can't understand why my boyfriend wants to remain friends with his ex-girlfriends. It's causing a problem in our relationship and the fact that he lies about how often he speaks to them or when he sees them it only makes me more angry. Then he tries to make it seem like I am making him choose between our relationship or his friends. He lives in New Jersey and I live in New York he tells me that he wants his future to be with me and I am willing to give up everything and move to a different state to be with him. All I ask is that he let me know the real deal between him and his ex-girlfriends. He just gets all hot and bothered whenever I bring it up.

Do we really have future together if he can't let go of the women from his past?

 

[ticklish223]

alright.. from what you've said so far... it kind of is you that is causing the problem. you should trust him enough to where he can be friends w/ his ex girlfriends. there is definitely a future with you two if you let go of the fact that he still has the right ot be friends w/ other girls, even if it is someone he used to date.. its obvious taht they dont date anymore, he is in love with YOU.

[sisterlynch]

He says that you have a future together so the rest is up to you. It involves letting go of the control a little. You think that by making sure he never sees another girl that you can hold onto him, but the truth is that this is pushing him further away!

 

He can always cheat and lie, and you can force him to do things against his will to a point, but eventually he will become too discouraged with the relationship and try to run away!

 

 

It is called balance. You have to love him enough to free him up for life. He will need to focus on you and you will need to focus on other things too to make a life together work out for always!

[Kolgar]

Lovelost, I'm not sure I'd believe him. You raise a good question: WHY does he need to be such good friends with his exes? Friendship can turn into love, but the reverse? It hardly works that way, unless they're still "boinking friends."

 

You said he lies to you about how often he talks with them. That couldbe because you handle the topic poorly. Or it could also be a symptom of his problem: He's a liar and a cheater.

 

Unfortunately, it could be either of these scenarios. You will have to make up your mind which it is. Do your friends know him? What to they think? You will need to be very objective in your analysis of this, or find and talk to people who are.

 

Good luck,

Rob

[sisterlynch]

I think it is bad if he is lying and cheating and carrying on with ex girlfriends, he needs to choose. He can't have both. Give him the ultimatum: either give up the old G's or you and he are all over!