Please help me, I really need some advice about this guy I like

[kitsune4]

Okay so I’ve liked this guy since I met him a year ago in march, the only times we’ve ever hung out is when we run into each other at a bar. Its complicated because we’ve fooled around three times. About a month ago, I bumped into him again and he tried to take me home with him but I told him I couldn’t. I told him I hoped to see him again soon and he was like well you know I’m always around. Then I told him if he wants to hang out sometime to let me know. He’s really shy, I’ve gathered that, so I wasn’t surprised when he didn’t take up my offer. Plus at the time, I wasn’t sure if he was interested in more than just sex or not.

 

Two weeks after, I went to the bar again and my friend said he kept looking over at me but he never approached me and eventually an old female friend of his that I guess he hadn’t seen in a couple years, approached him and they spent the whole night talking. He would occasionally go over to his friends but they’d always end up talking again, so I dunno if it was mainly her pursuing him or more mutual.

 

Anyways, I’m friends with one of his other friends and my roommate and this other friend are kinda of hitting it off. I was upset and his friend told my roommate that my crush likes me, which she then told me.

 

I have him on facebook and that girl added him like right after that night. She occasionally posts on his wall and I dunno if he’s into her. I messaged him once and his responses were pretty unencouraging (part of the reason I could never tell if he liked me or not). His responses to her are just as vague so I can’t tell by it whether or not he likes her but it shows that he posted something on her wall.

 

I’ve liked him for so long and to find out this whole time that he’s liked me too only for some other girl to swoop in and destroy any chance I have with him is extremely frustrating. He’s four years older than me and she’s four years older than him. She’s clearly more outgoing than me and if she likes him, which I get the vibe that she does, she’s pursuing him. I’m too shy to just approach him, especially if another girl is talking to him, and since we didn't talk the last time, I don't want to message him on facebook.

 

I don’t know what to do. I’d be extremely grateful for any advice. Please help me.

[whattodo12]

If you heard it through the grapevine that he likes you.... and you like him enough, then "man-up" and ask him out on a date.... he's obviously too shy to do so.... I consider myself a shy person, but if i hear a girl has a crush on me and i to her, then it would be a no brainer for me to ask her out.... but this dude must be really shy then

[abitbroken]

Well...he did try to take you home and you shot him down. Maybe he thinks that you are no longer interested. If you were interested in seeing him but just wanted to not just fool around, then at that time, I would have hoped you would have suggested an alternate activity. I think either he is interested in you and felt rejected or he just thinks of you as someone to fool around with if all you have done so far was "fooled around" versus went out on a proper date. Perhaps you are more motivated now that he seems to be talking to someone else. Actually - if you have known him a year and things haven't progressed to beyond hanging at the bar - then i wonder if that isn't the case - where you are not "highly" interested in him but your interest has increased with someone else in the picture. If you are still at the point of "he kept looking at me" versus really connecting, maybe you have a bit of a crush but you don't have the level of interest during this whole time to go beyond that and really getting to know him better.