Finally know what happened...

[lostgurl]

I found my dad's obituary online yesterday with all the names of his siblings that I had long forgotten. I tracked down his sister and gave her a call. After thinking his family hated us, I was afraid she would refuse to talk to me. But she was so very kind and understanding and told me the story. She said he was broken after losing us, my brothers and me... that he couldn't fight for us after the divorce because he didn't have the resources or money. She said every time he tried to make things right, everything went wrong. He was in a bad relationship and was miserable. She said she saw him before he committed suicide and asked him to come back home and start over. He said he would after the holidays if things didn't get better. But he didn't make it to the holidays. He left a note asking everyone to forgive him... he took pills to do it. She said she understands that things were hard for us and that there wasn't much we could do but she said she knows he loved us very much. She said she knows he wasn't perfect, that he had a terrible temper and that she wasn't trying to forgive him that but that he loved us. Then she asked how we were and if I would send pictures. And she said she wants to get to know me again. She said every now and then, someone in the family will ask "Does anyone know where the kids are?" They thought about us...

 

It's so much to take in but its already helping. I've been able to feel sad and know why. I don't have any energy left to feel angry about my mom and her husband possibly hiding the truth from us... And I finally don't feel like it could be partially my fault. There was nothing I could have done because I didn't know anything. It breaks my heart but I think I can finally start to heal.

[Speranza]

That's wonderful.

[alli]

Wow, good for you taking this into your own hands and tracking down your aunt. I hope this helps you heal over what happened to your dad & possibly start up a relationship with your relatives on his side.