Haven't posted for a while

[bungalo]

Came inches away from calling the ex tonight..I read a book about Getting Together with your ex..which really has some good stuff in it...all throughout the book though..not a word on contact. Given the severe reaction I had (after a 5 year rel/ship) one day in the hospital for depression...and pretty severe depression for the first 2 months...I know that I have to stay strong... I am pretty tied to dates and numbers...and my original goal was to go 90 days....then I changed it to 60...I'm at 44 now...talked to a good friend who asked me what difference it woud make if I called her...and she's right...The book I read was geared to married couples...we were never married because she could never commit, so I think it is a different mindset..also no kids together, or mutual friends, property etc..no ties...

It still hurts like hell not to have her as my friend....but what good is a

one-way friendship? She never contacts me...Some days I think it would be easier if we did talk so I could be reminded of why it didn't work...the longer we have no contact...the more I pine....

[bungalo]

Ok..this song has been going through my head tonight...*(yes I'm hijacking my own thread!)

 

Walking along a crowded street

I see thousands of faces before me.

Then I see a face that I used to know

Long ago in my life story.

It starts me thinking about the things you said

For your image is still inside me.

The past is gone but in my head

You're still walking along beside me.

Is it something playing tricks with my eyes

Or just an illusion deceiving me,

Or is it someone in a disguise

Or visions of things that used to be?

 

But lately I've been going to

All the places that we once knew,

And just when I think that I am free of you

I keep seeing the things that remind me of you,

And just when I think you're out of my head

I hear a song that you sang or see a book that you read.

Then you're in every bar, you're in every café,

You're driving every car, I see you everyday,

But you're not really there 'cos you belong to yesterday.

 

No more looking back,

No more living in the past,

Yesterday's gone and that's a fact,

Now there's no more looking back.

Got to be hard,

Yeah, look straight ahead.

That s the only way it's going to be,

Yesterday's gone and that's a fact,

Now there's no more looking back,

 

Perhaps someday I'll stop needing you,

Then maybe one day I'll be free of you.

But lately I've been going to

All the places that remind me of you.

And just when I think you're out of my head

I hear a record you played or see a book that you read.

Then you're in every bar, you're in every café,

You're driving every car, I see you everyday

But you're not really there 'cos you belong to yesterday.

 

No more looking back,

No more living in the past.

Yesterday's gone, that's a fact,

Now there's no more looking back.

No more looking back.

No more living in the past.

Yesterday's gone, that's a fact.

Now there's no more looking back.

 

(Ray Davies)

[iBroken]

Hang in there Bungalo - it will get better with time........I know these words dont sound much or even seem logical, but unfortunately, the hold the truth....

 

Cheers

[Rob1000]

Think of it like coming off a drug, or cigarettes. Its going to take time, but you will get there. I was where you are 12 months ago, except my ex and I had many mutual friends, we (and still are) in eachother's lives, albeit indirectly. You wont realise this now but you are so much better off in NC. It's going to take time but it will be worth it.