Asks me to let her know then ignores me

[justsomeguy1]

Long story short, I am attacted to a coworker, she isnt interested. I backed off and kept it professional. 3 weeks ago my mom slit her wrists, she heard and started being there. Yeah, she was just being supportive or whatever.

 

Last week she asked if I was going out and if so to let her know cause she might come out. I decided to go out, emailed her and she said she was tired but maybe friday.

 

Friday rolls around and she makes no mention of it at work. I emailed her and asked her if she decided to go out and if so to text me. No response.

 

I dont care that she didnt want to come out, I do care that she ignores me. I am pissed off about it, I have enough to think about with my mom but then her and these games. Part of me wants to tell her what I think, the other part knows nothing will come of it. In the end I am left with this anger and no way to vent it.

[geekgirl4]

She knows this is a stressful time for you but still thinks its perfectly fine to ignore your texts, even after she said she'd probably go. Talk about disrespect! Seems like she likes flinging empty words and suggestions of support but doesn't back it up, how wishy washy! I think you should just ignore her. Don't waste your time and frustration on someone who lacks common courtesy. Just concentrate on your mental health while you're helping your mom!

[anggrace]

I don't think you have enough reason to be certain she's "playing games". It sounds to me like she's just unclear and wishy washy. You guys never made plans, it was all "maybe's" so I wouldn't take offense. I also wouldn't take her seriously.

[MikNomis]

You already know she's not interested anyway. So whatever she does, whatever signals, be skeptical first.

[justsomeguy1]

I don't think you have enough reason to be certain she's "playing games". It sounds to me like she's just unclear and wishy washy. You guys never made plans, it was all "maybe's" so I wouldn't take offense. I also wouldn't take her seriously.

 

See it's not about her going or not, it's about me asking her and she totally ignores me. To be honest I didnt expect her to come out but if you talk about going out and then when the other person asks if they are still thinking about it it would be kinda rude to just ignore the question.

 

It just doesnt make sense why someone would do that when they know the other person is going through a tough time.

[Maya_A]

I agree with you OP. It was not very thoughtful, considering what you are going through particularly. As well, it's worse that you are very fond of her as a person (even if we forget about the romantic part) which she is aware of.

 

Hard to say why she is doing that. Maybe she started out truly trying to be supportive but then came to fear that she could be giving you mixed signals, so backed down. Though you do seem clear she isn't interested in that way, perhaps she doesn't know that.

 

So sorry about what you are going through with your mom....

[justsomeguy1]

I agree with you OP. It was not very thoughtful, considering what you are going through particularly. As well, it's worse that you are very fond of her as a person (even if we forget about the romantic part) which she is aware of.

 

Hard to say why she is doing that. Maybe she started out truly trying to be supportive but then came to fear that she could be giving you mixed signals, so backed down. Though you do seem clear she isn't interested in that way, perhaps she doesn't know that.

 

So sorry about what you are going through with your mom....

 

Thanks

 

I really just want to ask her why, get her side of the story but I don't even know if that would help.

[Keyman]

Thanks

 

I really just want to ask her why, get her side of the story but I don't even know if that would help.

 

It's done, do you really need to know why she has been acting like this. Forget about it and her, and focus on what is important. Be the bigger man and if she throws you a line again that she has no intention of keeping, just ignore it.

[BriarRose]

See it's not about her going or not, it's about me asking her and she totally ignores me. To be honest I didnt expect her to come out but if you talk about going out and then when the other person asks if they are still thinking about it it would be kinda rude to just ignore the question.

 

It just doesnt make sense why someone would do that when they know the other person is going through a tough time.

I agree with you. She could say any number of things if she didn't want to go. But to ignore someone when they are asking you out, is just insensitive - and knowing what you are going through! What a cold fish....

[justsomeguy1]

Well I ended up emailing her and asking what happened, told her I wasn't bummed about not going out but didn't like being ignored. If she genuinely cares she will be honest, if she comes back annoyed or defensively then at least I will know she never gave a rats ass.

[Maya_A]

Hope she comes back with understanding. Keep us posted if you can...

[justsomeguy1]

She replied apologizing saying she didnt mean to come off that she was ignoring me and that we didnt talk about it at work (about going out) so we didnt have definitive plans. She said she was emailing but it was slow so she just ended up going out alone. She also said that "we do need to go out for drinks and appetizers or something... Maybe this weekend". Funny this is I didnt ask why we didnt go out, I just asked why she ws ignoring me and she skirted around the subject.

 

I replied and told her to just give me her number and I will text since email is so slow. I told her I was not sure about the weekend but maybe after our company softball game on sunday. Surprise surprise she doesnt even respond, didnt even mention it at work. I find it retarded that I just got done telling her I dont like being ignored and then she turns around and ignores my reply...

 

Personally I dont think she is doing this BS on purpose but whatever the reasoning I am done even talking to her. I know she isnt interested in anything more then friends but hell you dont treat friends that way, as far as I am concerned all we are is coworkers and I dont even want that anymore. She is a flake and I dont have time for petty * * * * like this.