I Want to Believe That I *Am* Pretty...

[WomanWriter]

When I was a kid, people called me names because I had bad pimples and was overweight. I wore t-shirts, jeans, and sneakers to school and was really shy. Some people did like me, but I was definitely not popular. I didn't date anyone and thought I was an ugly dog (judging from what my middle school crush said about me).

 

Then I grew up and guys started liking me more. I lost some weight, my skin cleared up, and I became a little more outgoing. Guys I thought were hot would make comments to my friends that I was hot, but they wouldn't say it to my face. Then some even started telling me to my face that they thought I was pretty, but I thought they were making fun of me or being sarcastic so I would be mean to them because of how I was treated in high school. I thought they were picking on me.

 

Anyway, I can't get over the fact that my boyfriend told me tonight that he thinks I am naturally beautiful. He told me that all his other girlfriends were cute enough, but that I am stunning and he can't keep his eyes off me. I wore a dress, which I hardly ever do, and I noticed a LOT of guys smiling and staring at me tonight! I kept thinking there must be something wrong, but no, they were looking at me and they weren't being sarcastic.

 

My ex fiancee who I thought was extremely handsome/hot used to tell me I was naturally beautiful too. But I didn't believe it at the time. I thought I was OK but that HE was HOT.

 

I can't really believe that I am beautiful like they said. As I was growing up, my sister was a stunner and everyone loved her. They always said she was pretty and then looked at me sympathetically and said I was smart. My mom is also stunning. Out of the three of us, I think I am the least attractive although I don't think I'm unattractive.

 

I know it shouldn't really matter, but I have self-esteem issues from this. I always felt like a plain, boring person. I never thought guys really gave me a second look or liked me more than a friend, but the older I get, the more attention from guys I get, it seems. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around, but maybe it's because I dress up a little more and put on a little make-up. I am used to being a slob.

 

I wish I could believe it when my boyfriend tells me how beautiful I am. I just say thank you. I used to argue with my ex and tell him to stop lying.

[annie24]

hi - it sounds like you had an awkward phase in high school and outgrew it. that happens, it's ok. i would try to let go of those memories of high school and look at yourself as you are now - an attractive young woman.

[Shallow]

I wish I could believe it when my boyfriend tells me how beautiful I am. I just say thank you. I used to argue with my ex and tell him to stop lying.

This is a very common problem. There's even a not-so-nice name for it. Most of us aren't the same as we were in high school, for better or for worse. Consider yourself lucky.

[Momake]

Honestly, it might be hard to take... but perhaps you really ARE beautiful and hot - accept it

 

For a little bit of reading (urban dictionary style) look up "ugly duckling syndrome"

[YakasJourney]

I'm fairly positive you are physically attractive, but it's just hard to accept it because your identity is associated with that "old self". I wish I had an answer as I have the same problem myself. People tell me I am a good looking guy, but in my head I am still that lanky 16 year old.