Success Storys?

[Sac]

has anyone on this site got a success story of getting back with there ex? and would like to share the details...rebounds involved?...how they moved on...the direction they took LC o NC...did you remain freinds with your ex... ect?

[iBroken]

I have. But my success rate has nothing to do with your story....what happened to me may or may not happen to you.

 

If your girlfriend has a "lovely new bf", i wouldnt sit around and wait for her to come back to you......I would work on getting over this relationship. Thats what I did before she came back.

 

One thing with reconciliations is that there needs to be enough time in between. My ex and I are working on getting together but its been 5 months since we split and we are no where even near being lovey dovey as we were as a couple. We arent even the same anymore. Its like starting a new relationship. It takes time. You cant go back to the same old otherwise you will end up here again.

 

Good luck

[doiiiieeezie]

There are plenty around here, also check out the post: Getting Together Can Really Happen!

 

It all varies by the person and the situation.. and the best advice I can give is follow your head and listen to your heart. Reconciliations take time, as do good relationships, and if you rush or force it, you will be back here, and I do believe that's the common thread that you will find in those stories.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I got back together with my boyfriend after 5 months.

 

We broke up due to the long distance situation (it's hard) but always had a very healthy and loving relationship. We went NC that whole 5 months with only a few calls and 2 emails between us. I initiated nothing but was always the one to respond. He broke up with me and I felt that he was the one that needed to make the effort.

 

We both dated other people while broken up. He was nothing but respectful and extremely nice while we were broken up. We talked about getting together in the future when we weren't long distance but I didn't dwell on it. I focused on healing, dating, my health, and my work.

[nomad0792]

I got back together with my boyfriend after 5 months.

 

We broke up due to the long distance situation (it's hard) but always had a very healthy and loving relationship. We went NC that whole 5 months with only a few calls and 2 emails between us. I initiated nothing but was always the one to respond. He broke up with me and I felt that he was the one that needed to make the effort.

 

We both dated other people while broken up. He was nothing but respectful and extremely nice while we were broken up. We talked about getting together in the future when we weren't long distance but I didn't dwell on it. I focused on healing, dating, my health, and my work.

 

This would be LC, not NC...but, glad to hear you guys are keeping the door open.

[Cognitive_Canine]

This would be LC, not NC...but, glad to hear you guys are keeping the door open.

 

Well, I was NC. I didn't contact him unless he called me. I felt it rude to not return his calls. Honestly, it was 3-4 phone calls. We didn't see each other and avoided each other for 5 months. I'd honestly consider that No contact.

[nomad0792]

well, it's semantics i suppose. You're like a crossbreed, like VLC (very limited contact) or NIC (Not Initiating Contact). But, good luck anyways.

I've been in NC for about 4.5 months and we've had zero contact...except some very suspect 'accidental' contacts from her, which could be her or not, but I don't bother with "butt-dials", Blocked call hang-ups, etc...

[Cognitive_Canine]

well, it's semantics i suppose. You're like a crossbreed, like VLC (very limited contact) or NIC (Not Initiating Contact). But, good luck anyways.

I've been in NC for about 4.5 months and we've had zero contact...except some very suspect 'accidental' contacts from her, which could be her or not, but I don't bother with "butt-dials", Blocked call hang-ups, etc...

 

I ended up back with my boyfriend actually. We've been back together for about a year and a half.

[SpeedingCars]

I was with my ex for 4 years on/off. He cheated multiple times, lied, etc. We broke up and I would start talking to a new guy (just to get my mind off of him) and then he'd come back... he was manipulative and hid things from me very well. Eventually, I started to distance myself from him emotionally (got a new job, made new friends) while still 'dating' him (everytime I wanted the official title of boyfriend/girlfriend, he'd resist... I was SO in denial, I'm embarrassed). Soon enough, I met this new man (he was amazing) and I weaned myself off of my ex.

 

I always dreamed of the day my ex would cry and beg for me back and profess his love for me. And... dreams do come true, because when I finally had enough of his bull, he persisted and confessed he always loved me and he was scared of commitment but now he's ready to be my boyfriend. The thing is, I'm SO over him! I could never see myself with him again... and being his friend would be awkward because he's still in love with me.

 

You could see my previous threads to see how madly in love I was with this guy. Your best bet is NC. STRICT NC. That is really the best option for you.... it's not supposed to get your ex back (I'm sure you know that), but it does help you. There is NO losing when you decide to cut off contact with your ex and take time for yourself.

 

Keypoints:

In between our breakups, he would talk to another girl... he had one rebound girlfriend (dumped her for me).

 

I did not remain friends with my ex whenever we broke up. He called, I would not answer.

 

Although we are not together anymore (he keeps calling and wants to be my friend...too late!), it is a success story because I have healed from an emotionally abusive relationship and moved on to somebody else.

 

He was my first love and I honestly felt like I would never find someone better than him... someone that would light up my day and make me happy. But that was just the sadness talking. Time heals EVERYTHING..... trust me.

 

If your ex leaves you, go NC. Don't let them call you at night or text you asking how your day was. I made that mistake MANY, many times... and that just delayed my healing process. But now I'm the one with the power and it feels mighty fine!

[nomad0792]

I ended up back with my boyfriend actually. We've been back together for about a year and a half.

 

That's fantastic news! I haven't followed your story, but I'm very happy for you. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I've had zero communications. I have been in strict NC and so has she, but my friends tell me she's been trying to subversively make contact with me, which is a tough spot to be in, cos I want her to reach, but only if it's a legit one. She's the one who wanted the space, so I gave it to her...uggh...so much fun.

 

Good for you Speeding Cars! How long did you go NC before he begged for you back?

[Cognitive_Canine]

That's fantastic news! I haven't followed your story, but I'm very happy for you. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I've had zero communications. I have been in strict NC and so has she, but my friends tell me she's been trying to subversively make contact with me, which is a tough spot to be in, cos I want her to reach, but only if it's a legit one. She's the one who wanted the space, so I gave it to her...uggh...so much fun.

 

Good for you Speeding Cars! How long did you go NC before he begged for you back?

 

 

Yeah, she's the one that broke up with you, she needs to do the work to get back together.

 

When my boyfriend wanted to get back together, he really put his feelings on the table. He told me actually how he felt. He didn't put me through guessing games and indirect hinting. I wouldn't have settled for less than the effort he put in, which was quite a lot.

[nomad0792]

He broke up with you, right? And so you iced him (NC)? How long was your RS before you guys broke up? What were his reasons for doing so?

 

You see, the hard part about my situation is that I've been getting contact that can be construed as accidental on her part and so, therefore, I don't do anything. BUT, I feel as if she is afraid to see where I'm at in my life after icing her for over 4 months. I mean, she was the one who asked for the space, so yeah, in theory, she needs to be the one to reach. I'm just trying to understand the motivation behind all this incidental contact...just probing to see if I'm still there? Or, maybe scared of rejection? Losing leverage? Again, this could all be a moot point if it all was really an accident. Just a lot of smoke, that's all. I've already wasted to much thought on it already, but it does make me wonder...

[Cognitive_Canine]

We were going out for a year when he broke up with me. It was due to us being in a long distance relationship. However, I was close by when he broke up with me (I moved back there for the summer). I moved away again once my college was back in session. We got back together while long distance. That was pretty rough.

 

I think that if she really wants to get back together, she'll actually call you. I'd accept no less.

[SpeedingCars]

That's fantastic news! I haven't followed your story, but I'm very happy for you. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I've had zero communications. I have been in strict NC and so has she, but my friends tell me she's been trying to subversively make contact with me, which is a tough spot to be in, cos I want her to reach, but only if it's a legit one. She's the one who wanted the space, so I gave it to her...uggh...so much fun.

 

Good for you Speeding Cars! How long did you go NC before he begged for you back?

 

Oh, man... the thing is, lines were blurred. BIG TIME. I would go NC for 2-3 months and lo and behold, he'd call and I'd pick up. The most recent time (when he cried and begged for me back) is when I didn't even realize I was doing NC. I simply did not want anything to do with him... when he called, I'd talk to him like he was my friend. It was more out of pity than anything else. I think at that point, I had enough of his mind games and honestly, I just didn't feel the same way as I did before.

 

It's one of those "a-ha!" moments that come when you least expect it!

 

Nomad, I would say give her all the space she needs. Do not contact her... if someone asked for space, that's what they need. If she truly wants you back and is done with her 'space', she will make the effort to make a CLEAR and concise move towards communication. I think right now she might be unsure... so in order not to rock the boat, I would say continue NC!!

[nomad0792]

So how's the relationship been the second time around? Better? Stronger? Any concerns of a relapse?

 

Well, as for my sitch...yes, I don't plan on doing anything, unless she makes a real reach.

[Cognitive_Canine]

So how's the relationship been the second time around? Better? Stronger? Any concerns of a relapse?

 

Well, as for my sitch...yes, I don't plan on doing anything, unless she makes a real reach.

 

 

Much better, much stronger. We're overall a lot better. However, the first few months of getting back together were really hard.