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How to be less passive and more active when it comes to the dating game?


dog stevens

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Does anyone else have the problem of being too passive and sort of waiting for things to happen? It seems like I'll make some excuse to wait for things to happen, to wait for a girlfriend or to wait to get laid. I'll say stuff to myself like

 

"I'll wait another month because I'm moving to a new city"

 

"I'll wait until I bulk up and lose my skinny and lanky frame"

 

"I'll wait until I'm financially secure and have a car"

 

 

What can I do to be less passive like this?

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What can I do to be less passive like this?

Basically, just stop thinking about it and creating excuses. If you insist on being cerebral about it, come up with reasons why you should be dating.

 

"I want to have a date for (insert an upcoming event that you're interested in here)" or "It would be easier to achieve my fitness goals if I had an attractive workout partner to help motivate me".

 

This coming from someone who hasn't dated in a year. Don't do as I do, do as I say. The only reason you shouldn't be dating is if you're not physically or financially able to for whatever reason.

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i always think of the nike's slogan 'just do it'. nothings ever been completed with only planning. you have to take action if you want things to get done or happen. think of it this way - if the future is not guaranteed then why are you living there? live in the moment!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Dating isn't so difficult if your lifestyle is already grounded in hanging out with friends in public, at least in my opinion. In fact, I asked a girl (who I had the sense was interested in me, and actually is) out to pizza this past weekend without even realizing that I had just asked her out on a date. It really did not occur to me. I was just asking her to hang out, that's all. But in a sense, it was a date. I invite people out so much that the word "date" just falls by by the wayside. When a guy asks a girl to hang out one-on-one, it can sometimes be perceived as a date. But when a guy asks a guy to hang out, it usually isn't. So, that said, hang out with women a lot and it should be no problem being more active.

 

In other words, take more initiative to invite your friends (and new ones) out to hang on a regular basis, and you will see that it really isn't any different not just asking a girl/woman out on a date, but how comfortable you are talking to her during the date. It's very helpful to feel comfortable around guys and girls/women, because once you start to feel comfortable, being "active" is not far from where you already are.

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