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How to deal with his uncertainty


reflecting

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I've been dating my partner for two years. Just recently I've felt like I was ready to move to the next level, I wanted to be in a more committed relationship and I spoke to him about it. After a few months, I still wasn't getting real answers to where we were going, kept getting the run around, so I decided to have the conversation with him again and go deeper. This is what I want, will you be able to give it to me, yadda yadda yadda. The note we ended on after many many tears (all his - I was cool as a cucumber) was that he was uncertain, well more than that... he wasn't ready, had to work through some demons of his own on his own, and financially wasn't secure.

 

We ended on deciding to take a indefinite break.

 

So in my mind I'm thinking what you're thinking, that it's the end. But... the whole situation is just weird.

 

He still contacts me every day. He even told me he started seeing a counselor to try to help work out his problems. He still exhibits the same behaviors as when we were "together" and occasionally has mentioned the future.

 

I asked him the other day if there was a we or just a you and me and he didn't exactly answer me. He said that he was still working through some things and asked me to be patient with him as he figures it out. So basically we're back to square one with a slight twist "broken up" but not.

 

He still contacts me, and even got a bit panicked when I pulled back (for my own peace of mind) for a couple of days. I finally told him that I just didn't know, all of my certainty about us has turned to uncertainty because of what has happened. I'm seriously at a lost.

 

Would LC be okay in this situation where there is still a possibility of a relationship? Or as he has more of less telling me that we won't be able to have a relationship right now in the way that I want one should I just move into NC and move on? It's such a unique situation I feel but then again, I don't want to be strung along for another year or two while he figures things out. Should I mentally give myself a deadline, stick to it and if nothing happens by then move on? Or should I alert him to this deadline?

 

What would you do given my situation? Suggestions would be appreciated.

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In the two years that you were together, were you not really official...you were just dating but not officially a couple? If he couldn't commit to being an official couple after two years, his "confusion" will not likely get better any time soon. I would walk away from this guy and let him get his act together without the convenience of having you around.

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