Do ex's return after they forgive themselves?

[butterfly0424]

I have been thinking about my situation over the weekend. Just a breif background. I was with my ex-fiance for 3 yrs. He ended the relationship due to thinking the GIGS. He found out 7 months later its not true. He wasn't happy with his girl and left her last month. We got together for dinner in Feb. We had a talk about our relationship. He said he was happy and doesn't know what he was thinking. He regrets leaving me and our daughter. Fast forward a month later (this weekend) we have lunch together. We talk and text over the weekend he keeps telling me he appreciates the fact that I know him so well, how I used to know when he needed a nap and let him take the naps without complaining, I never had to ask what he wanted for supper because I just new. He said I was the one he could see himself with for the rest of his life.

 

He says he doesnt want to be in any relationship now because he feels as if he is being punished. He thinks he is doomed to be miserable for the rest of his life.

 

Has anyone experienced this where the ex had regrets but eventually wanted to come back?

[1guygirl]

he keeps telling me he appreciates the fact that I know him so well, how I used to know when he needed a nap and let him take the naps without complaining, I never had to ask what he wanted for supper because I just new. He said I was the one he could see himself with for the rest of his life.

 

He says he doesnt want to be in any relationship now because he feels as if he is being punished. He thinks he is doomed to be miserable for the rest of his life.

 

this is emotional blackmail and manipulation...whether hes aware of it or not

 

do not buy or fall for it until his actions back up his words for a few months solid

 

he left you and your daughter and now is feeling sorry for himself. you have to detatch so he can actually learn from this. let contact be about your daughter only.

[Lastchallenge]

Agreed.... That makes no sense. How old is he 12?

I can't believe the nerve of somepeople including my immauture x

[OrangeMoon]

He wants the comfort back that you have given him..the cushion you have provided.

 

You took care of him as if he was a little boy. All the aspects he enjoyed about you..is mom-like. But he immediately said..that he doesn't really want you..he wants to be single..and is putting up the ' i feel so sorry for myself'-bit so you will come to the rescue again and pamper him. leaving him to play outside all day if he wants..when he feels better again.

 

Don't fall for that..and really..do not put your daughter through that again either. I know its hard to be a single mom in the dating game. It can feel like you never ever get a break..and then the ones that have been there before look a lot better.

 

But he isn't into you..if he has broken up with you. Never forget that! Don't allow anything more than maybe a simple platonic friendship where you will get more out of it then him..

 

And being his ex-fiance..don't settle for any kind of GIGGS BS. He broke a true promise to be your husband. Just because he has made bad choices...deliberate,thought of bad choices..doesn't make him the victim in any way. He is not dependable..and not the husband or boyfriend you deserve.

 

Listen to him..he said he didn't want you..was not looking to be 'with anyone'..he just wants the thing he loved the best from you without any commitment. Do NOT give him that..that is for the man who will truly love and honour YOU and YOUR commitment.

 

Best of luck..

[bungalo]

He said he was happy and doesn't know what he was thinking. He regrets leaving me and our daughter. Fast forward a month later (this weekend) we have lunch together. We talk and text over the weekend he keeps telling me he appreciates the fact that I know him so well, how I used to know when he needed a nap and let him take the naps without complaining, I never had to ask what he wanted for supper because I just new. He said I was the one he could see himself with for the rest of his life.

 

He says he doesnt want to be in any relationship now because he feels as if he is being punished. He thinks he is doomed to be miserable for the rest of his life.

 

His comments about being punished doomed to be miserable sound self-pitying... and if these are persistent themes from now on..yeah..sounds like manipulation...BUT...if this is temporary...why not give it a chance? Be cautious, tell him what you want from him..but I wouldn't throw it away...

[tattoobunnie]

 

He says he doesnt want to be in any relationship now because he feels as if he is being punished. He thinks he is doomed to be miserable for the rest of his life.

 

When he says that again, and he will, tell him to "cry me a river." Meaning, if he think his life is gonna end up miserable, then he should do something about it.

 

Of course exs regret, especially when they are feeling lonely, or a prior situation didn't work out. They want and seek comfort...hence from the nice girl.

 

I think the way he treated you was horrible. And the fact that you have a child together, speaks volumes of his maturity. Next time you meet up, you will need to be clear about what you need for you and your daughter, not a wallow in his misery response. Then go from there. If all he can offer you is a cop out response, this guy's not worth it (your time, devotion, or trust).

 

I've been in a similar situation like yours, and boy, what a mess it causes with your heart, head, and soul. So...keep in mind, a man who promises you a commitment, then breaks it for another woman, it's not confusion, it's downright selfishness. He needs to step it up. I don't think he realizes the gravity of what he's done.

 

Until then...he doesn't deserve you. Maybe in time, but he really needs to address all of the damage he's done.

[Nicole2009]

I don't get the He says he doesnt want to be in any relationship now because he feels as if he is being punished. He thinks he is doomed to be miserable for the rest of his life. ??

 

Why did the two of you go out for dinner?

[comicgal]

LOL... my ex left me and our daughter for another woman. If he tried to pull this s**t on me, it'd definitely be no contact. Apparently, he still doesn't have his priorities straight and there's no point in making him a priority in your life worrying about what the hell he wants.

[nomad0792]

Sorry to hear about your situation. Glad that he recognizes the error of his ways, but it appears he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you right now. Unfortunately, he made a grave mistake in leaving u and ur child.

 

Being a male, I know how men can be manipulative. He, for now, doesn't deserve you back. Be firmer and don't fall for this crap. It will serve you better in the long run. Good luck to you.