"This is how you should live your life!"

[Juxtapoz]

I am so sick of people telling me how to live my life.

 

I´m 28, not married, no children. From my home state in the US, I´d more or less be seen as a late bloomer. I got the looks at my 10th year high school reunion, of Aw, it´s a shame you don´t have a husband and babies like we do. There´s constant pressure left and right to jump that hoop, especially in the south.

 

Then there´s the other side of the spectrum.

 

Lately I´ve been having problems with someone I really care about but we´ve only been dating for a short time...2 months. Sure, on paper, that´s a short time, but I still care about him very much and can potentially get really bruised over this one.

 

I was talking about it with my guy friend yesterday, and he kept saying, You´re only 28!! You´re young!! It was only 2 months! That´s nothing!!

 

I´m sorry, but it´s not. I don´t think time frames should discredit feelings. How you handle them is a different story but I can´t erase the things I feel only because I´m young and we haven´t been together that long.

 

I was not telling my guy friend "Oh, this is the guy i want to have kids with." No, I was simply saying I cared about him very much and hope that it will work out when we talk.

 

I´m just....frustrated. Does anyone else deal with this?

 

I know what I want in my life. I want a relationship. A good, stable relationship that takes effort, commitment, patience and time. I´m at the perfect age to have WHAT I WANT. The kids, the marriage, that stuff can come later if the relationship pays its dues. I guess I just want to be taken more seriously.

[petite]

Personally I think you should take such things with a grain of salt and continue your life the way you choose to.

Who cares about what your friends think of your relationship? Too soon, too late? It's not up to them to decide, absolutely they can comment on it and say to be careful and that's something you shouldn't take offense to as they have a right to their opinion, but that's where it stops.

 

Stand your ground and let people know you are your own person and you will live your life the way YOU see fit. If they don't like it? Too bad!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

No matter what you do, people will always try to descredit you or your feelings..no matter how old you are. Sometimes it is a way to make themselves feel superior, by being able to talk down to you. Sometimes it really is that they just don't understand. Live your life for you. Sometimes it is best not to talk to people about your fears when it comes to relationships because they just trot out the same old tired clichés and you feel like they really don't understand.

[Lucius]

I find that the times I feel most vulnerable to the criticisms of others tends to correspond with the times I'm being the hardest on myself. So my advice to you is this: be patient, kind, and accepting of yourself. Be your own best, most supportive friend. When you can achieve that, and maintain it, you may just find that the looks, the expectations, and the judgments of others will bother you not at all.

[Speranza]

You say 'people' but only quote one person. Is it about HIM or is this a general problem you have?

 

You know, I've found over many years that people can only give opinions on what I choose to share with them. The post above about being hard on yourself bears some thought...

[OntheWire]

Lucius's advice is solid.

 

I also think people with marriages and kids are just desperate for single people to share in their slaved misery. I mean what's not to like about the single life? You get to keep all your money(after taxes, of course)! You can go out whenever you want... if you want to wander around Wal-mart at 3AM until the sun rises and then buy skull and crossbone Shraeder valve caps for your tires, a pair of pink fuzzy dice, and the entire Rambo box set on blu-ray, then there is no one to stop you.

 

The married people are sitting over there in married land, looking from afar with brazen red eyes, burning with jealousy and envy at your freedom and joy. And when they see you, they say the only desperate thing they can, "OH I'M SO SORRY YOU'RE NOT MARRIED, TOO"

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Lucius's advice is solid.

 

I also think people with marriages and kids are just desperate for single people to share in their slaved misery. I mean what's not to like about the single life? You get to keep all your money(after taxes, of course)! You can go out whenever you want... if you want to wander around Wal-mart at 3AM until the sun rises and then buy skull and crossbone Shraeder valve caps for your tires, a pair of pink fuzzy dice, and the entire Rambo box set on blu-ray, then there is no one to stop you.

 

The married people are sitting over there in married land, looking from afar with brazen red eyes, burning with jealousy and envy at your freedom and joy. And when they see you, they say the only desperate thing they can, "OH I'M SO SORRY YOU'RE NOT MARRIED, TOO"

 

 

 

LOL. Love this post. I remember somebody once asked me "are you married or are you happy?" implying that you can be happier single than married. There is nothing like a good marriage, a happy marriage, a marriage where both partners are in sync, where there is a partnership...then it is worthwhile having some of your freedoms curtailed and being mindful of the other person's likes, dislikes and needs. However, for people in empty marriages and unhappy marriages, it must really rankle not to have the freedoms of a single person. There are many women in their senior years who simply blossomed out once their husband died..they had been in bad marriages but stuck it out and then once widowed they just had the time of their life.

[Applewhite]

Lucius's advice is solid.

 

I also think people with marriages and kids are just desperate for single people to share in their slaved misery. I mean what's not to like about the single life? You get to keep all your money(after taxes, of course)! You can go out whenever you want... if you want to wander around Wal-mart at 3AM until the sun rises and then buy skull and crossbone Shraeder valve caps for your tires, a pair of pink fuzzy dice, and the entire Rambo box set on blu-ray, then there is no one to stop you.

 

The married people are sitting over there in married land, looking from afar with brazen red eyes, burning with jealousy and envy at your freedom and joy. And when they see you, they say the only desperate thing they can, "OH I'M SO SORRY YOU'RE NOT MARRIED, TOO"

 

LOL! This must be it. I agree. Very few people that are married are actually happy and content. The rest are living hel. I find it ironic and obnoxious when someone that screwed up their own life has suggestions on how I should live mine. I go like this:

[Kumatora]

Lucius's advice is solid.

 

I also think people with marriages and kids are just desperate for single people to share in their slaved misery. I mean what's not to like about the single life? You get to keep all your money(after taxes, of course)! You can go out whenever you want... if you want to wander around Wal-mart at 3AM until the sun rises and then buy skull and crossbone Shraeder valve caps for your tires, a pair of pink fuzzy dice, and the entire Rambo box set on blu-ray, then there is no one to stop you.

 

The married people are sitting over there in married land, looking from afar with brazen red eyes, burning with jealousy and envy at your freedom and joy. And when they see you, they say the only desperate thing they can, "OH I'M SO SORRY YOU'RE NOT MARRIED, TOO"

 

Hahahaha!!! I love this!!!!!!! This post is awesome and true in it's very own sense.

[Dako]

I often think a breakup is hardest on those who see their future hopes go up in flames. If a long relationship fades from mutual boredom, it's hardly the same.

 

No one can know how you feel.

[Juxtapoz]

I often think a breakup is hardest on those who see their future hopes go up in flames. If a long relationship fades from mutual boredom, it's hardly the same.

 

No one can know how you feel.

 

Oh wow this is so perfectly said...

I'm glad I found this board.

 

 

That's just it. It was a small amount of time with this window into the future. I saw myself being with this person for a long time, and my heart was open and I was letting him in. Everything was new, fresh, hot and exciting. And this sudden change was a slap out of nowhere. At the moment i do not know the current status...we're supposed to "talk" tonight. This is after a week of silence. Not good.

 

My friend with the discouraging words was much more harsh about it, but I've heard it from other people too concerning me being too young to worry about heartbreak. Ha. Sadly, heartbreak is not foreign territory to me and yet it still hurts like it's brand new.

[geekgirl4]

Lucius said it perfectly. Be happy with yourself, no matter what people say. If anything, loving how you live will make those married people feel green with envy inside at how you are comfortable with yourself, regardless of your age. If you know where you are in life and where you want to go, let those irritating "you're still young" "oh you aren't married yet" comments fly by!