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No Friends For Years


scott2312

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I haven't had friends for the past 2 years and I don't know what could be the problem. I had a big group of about 20 friends from high school that I was "in the group" with for a good 2 years after we all graduated from HS. Then after 08, I lost contact with them, they just stopped calling me. And here I thought I fit in with these people, nobody smoked, drank or got into trouble. I really had fun with them. They are all still a big group I believe. I was just kicked out I guess. I don't know why...

 

I attend college and see lots of people during my day. I have a job where I meet many people during my day (mostly adults though). I am polite to everybody I meet, I try to dress nice and look somewhat neat. (Im 6'4 190, so I don't exactly blend in.) All the adults at my work seem to like me, so I don't think I come off as hostile.

 

There is a group of kids that are in my math class that all sit around and talk with me and we all talk during class and seem to get along. Then all of a sudden they are talking about a study/hangout that they all meet up at after class, but they never invite me. And I know these kids dont know each other from other classes.

 

I even joined a local car club where a bunch of 20 year old guys like me who have the same kind of car as me meet and have meet-n-greets events and such. I just don't seem to fit in there either.

 

It just doesn't seem like I can get past friendly chat. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, and I don't know what to do next...

 

At the end of the day (for the past 2 years) I just go home and be by myself, and its really getting to me.

 

Any tips would be great.

 

-Scotty

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Hi Scott -

 

It doesn't sound like the problem is with you at all (from what you post here). But I think that for one to have friends, they have to be a friend. Meaning... I think you should create your own gatherings. Simply invite people over, to movies, for lunch, dinner, etc.

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I try to be happy with myself. But after a couple years, im not as happy as I used to be.

 

I dont know how Im supposed to invite myself to gatherings, when the friends I used to have dont like me enough to call me anymore. It seems like inviting myself would be the exact opposite thing to do at this point...

 

It must have something to do with my red hair...

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  • 2 weeks later...

awww. I'll hang out with you. Forget about the others (although maybe they are wondering why you haven't contacted them). I think what people mean is invite yourself with the new people you meet - ask them to go with you for lunch, see the new movie, throw a party etc. Im sure if they are hanging out and chatting with you they probably think your cool and be receptive to that

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