uncomfynumb Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 I have not seen or talked to this one in over 3 1/2 years and the last correspondence I had with him was by email. I told him to lose my number and to never contact me ever again. So today, I'm sitting at my desk at work and one of the managers from another office comes in and tells me there a is man in the lobby asking for me. I thought it was a joke but it wasn't. He said I told him that we could be friends in a couple of years maybe. I do remember saying that but that was before we went nut job on me. I dumped him for being abusive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 You don't owe him anything. What's the point of being friends with someone you don't like? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainNapalm Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Well just tell him to get lost and if he persists showing up or contacting you then I'd say you have a problem. Otherwise this is a minor issue and he probably still thinks that you meant what you said about wanting to be friends. Just make sure he understands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sanesoul Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Creepy. If it happens again, file a restraining order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vertigoxo Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Well, you did told him you would want to be friends with him again in a couple of years, so he may have took you seriously. This is why dumpers should never say things like "We can always be friends!" if they are serious about not wanting the dumpee be in their lives anymore. It creates drama and stress further. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uncomfynumb Posted March 17, 2010 Author Share Posted March 17, 2010 Yes, I DID tell him that we might be friends down the line but that was BEFORE he went psycho on me. I had to take out a restraining order on him once before so I know how that goes. I am sooooooo creeped out. Funny thing is that my son and I were talking about him last night. I texted my son after he left and told him about it. My son called me back in between classes wanting to know what was said. I told him we would talk later but if saying his name last night somehow conjured him up, let's make a pack to never say his name again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vertigoxo Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Oh, I understand now. Well, that does sound creepy. You need to get the police involved before it gets worse. Way worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JBaker Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 What did he do to go psycho on you, if I may ask? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EQIQ Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Dude is weird lol... I would be freaked out... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jul-els Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 If you filed a restraining order once and he's coming back around after a couple of years, that's creepy and doesn't sound like he's someone you should take lightly. I recommend you file another restraining order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmajam Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 That is pretty insane. Sounds like he never really got over the breakup. He's been sitting there for years waiting for the go ahead lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uncomfynumb Posted March 17, 2010 Author Share Posted March 17, 2010 What did he do to go psycho on you, if I may ask? Well first of all the punched me in the stomach during a fight. I had him arrested immediately after that. He went to counseling and through a program and months later, I told him that we might be able to be friends later on down the line. Well I made the mistake of letting him come over one evening to talk about something he was upset about. He begged and I have a soft heart and gave him the benefit of the doubt. He had written me a long letter and poured his heart and and pleaded for another chance. I told him no and asked him to leave as he was still begging and he got a knife out and held it to his own throat and refused to leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jul-els Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Well first of all the punched me in the stomach during a fight. I had him arrested immediately after that. He went to counseling and through a program and months later, I told him that we might be able to be friends later on down the line. Well I made the mistake of letting him come over one evening to talk about something he was upset about. He begged and I have a soft heart and gave him the benefit of the doubt. He had written me a long letter and poured his heart and and pleaded for another chance. I told him no and asked him to leave as he was still begging and he got a knife out and held it to his own throat and refused to leave. Whoa. Don't hesitate to get that restraining order asap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobbyC Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 This guy sounds like he is really unstable. And to show up out of the blue after you took out a restraining order is very strange. What was said when you saw him today? I would tell whoever works up front to not let him in the building again and talk to the cops about it. It would be smart to get another restraining order. You might have a co-worker walk you out tonight, just to be safe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Well first of all the punched me in the stomach during a fight. I had him arrested immediately after that. He went to counseling and through a program and months later, I told him that we might be able to be friends later on down the line. Well I made the mistake of letting him come over one evening to talk about something he was upset about. He begged and I have a soft heart and gave him the benefit of the doubt. He had written me a long letter and poured his heart and and pleaded for another chance. I told him no and asked him to leave as he was still begging and he got a knife out and held it to his own throat and refused to leave. Wow, that's really scary. I hope everything works out for you. I'd tell him hell no now before he got any closer. Hopefully he's a bit more stable than he was in the past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JBaker Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Wow. That IS psycho. I certainly understand why you do not him back anywhere near your life. Hopefully after all this time he can handle the rejection of friendship better than before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnMayer Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 A restraining order is nothing but a piece of paper. Many, if not most, women who are beaten or worse by their ex’s had restraIning orders against them. I don’t know that he has broken any laws – * I think most restraining orders have expiration dates – * but talk it over with local cops, anyhow, and any sexual assault crisis centers in your area. Also – * and I know this is controversial – * but gun laws and carry permits are much more lax today. That may not be a good thing, but it could be for you. Training in the use of a firearm is one of the prerequisites for a permit, and you’ll want to get at least the basics. I’ve seen situations like this get out of hand. You can NOT assume that, in a crisis, law enforcement will show up in time to save the day. A big dog is also no defense against an armed man. Like it or not, it’s up to you. Your son needs his mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uncomfynumb Posted March 18, 2010 Author Share Posted March 18, 2010 Day of drama... So I come home this evening and the road is blocked by police cars. They let me around only because I live in the subdivison up ahead. I'm surrounded by water on both sides so if something happens on my road home, it can take hours to get home. So I come home and my son is not here and I freak! He is 16 but always asks if he can go somewhere. I try his cell and no answer. There was an accident on the bridge; not sure what happened yet but I've heard two stories; there was a four car accident on the bridge or part of the bridge fell. I found my son; he was at a friends house. Everything is fine but I have to admit today's event's were crazy! I'm going to have a drink! As for the ex... I'm not really worried about him. From what I know he is pretty much stable in his life right now. Though it was weird him stopping by, I think if I let it go, he is likely to. I'm not scared of him. I was taken aback by his stopping by today and after I told him before that I never wanted to see him again. Yes it is a little crazy I guess but again, I'm not worried at this point. My ex left his home number for me to call. I'm not sure if I should call him or not at this point. I think not calling him might be more likely to lead to obsessive behavior than not. I may call the counselor that I saw about it and get her advice. I don't hate him; I forgave him a long, long time ago and it was easy for me to move on from at the time. However I definitely DO NOT want to be friends with him. I think I just may have to come up with a nice way to put that. What is a nice way to put that? On a happy note, the company that I work for purchased a plane today and I'm happy at the prospect of doing some local jet setting! So then, a lot of excitement for me for one day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vertigoxo Posted March 18, 2010 Share Posted March 18, 2010 Well first of all the punched me in the stomach during a fight. I had him arrested immediately after that. He went to counseling and through a program and months later, I told him that we might be able to be friends later on down the line. Well I made the mistake of letting him come over one evening to talk about something he was upset about. He begged and I have a soft heart and gave him the benefit of the doubt. He had written me a long letter and poured his heart and and pleaded for another chance. I told him no and asked him to leave as he was still begging and he got a knife out and held it to his own throat and refused to leave. BUNNY BOILER, BUNNY BOILER, BUNNY BOILER! *repeats chanting* He's a freak! I'd call a mental institution to get him in a straight jacket if he tries anything to you again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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