advice please

[chanelCHIC]

i had a car last year, but it broke down last may. since then, my family has not had the money to pay for the repairs. Its been a year now and i have been without a car. this has socially handicapped me, & has kept me from keeping a steady job. It is hard to maintain a job with no transportation. The worst part about this situation is that my mom has never allowed me to borrow her car to go out, which makes my social life non existent! not too many of my friends have cars, and i HATE begging people for rides to got places. i feel like a user. Yesterday, i had to walk home from school in the rain, and i was extremely livid. It was a new low for me. Anyway, since then, my mom has come into a little bit of money, around 5K, which is WAYY more than my repairs (only 1K). She has had this money since the beginning of February, but has not called the repair man, or went down to his shop. Everytime i bring up the situation, i am yelled at and dismissed. Over time, resentment has built up more and more. everyday i get a little more upset about this situation. I wake up w/ headaches, and i anger more quickly. My mom and i argue on a regular basis---hardly a week goes by when we dont fight. I can feel myself changing from the nice daughter i had been. i am beginning to think that i should just do whatever the hell i want to do. obviously being a "good girl" yields no positive results. Besides that, this situation is depressing me. it makes me feel like im 12 yrs old all over again. thats awful depressing to me, I want to talk to her about it, but i will get yelled at, and i don't want that. WHAT SHOULD I DO?? :sad:

[Guest]

is she the one who is supposed to pay for the repairs? why can you not make that money and pay for it?

 

is it the car alone that she is upset about, is there any other way you may feel she might be feelings annoyed about a bigger problem?

 

anyway, it sounds pretty upsetting and what you're going through with the headaches and all is no good, but i think you should go ahead and take responsibility for paying for it, maybe she'll admire that about you. But i don't know the whole story, but i wonder why she would just yell at you, maybe you get her on a good day and just ask her. but if she doesn't want to have anything to do with the topic of your car, i would be a big girl and take care of it yourself.

[abitbroken]

Well...how do you know she doesn't need the money for something else or that the repairs cost more than that? Sometimes parents have to weigh out not just what is good for you but good for the family. If she is the one with job that pays the bills, her vehicle is priority. SHe may not loan you hers because if hers was in a wreck, your whole family will be screwed. If not too many of your friends have cars, then you are not alone in not having a car. I didn't have a car until college. I borrowed my parents but only to go to school when I was a senior because we moved and I finished up school in our old town so it was a ways away.

 

I would just see how you could be responsible around the house to earn the responsibility of the car again if that is the issue. Also, what about getting a job where you mom could drop you off, etc, so you could get the money to contribute to it also if its important to you. You don't have to make all of it but you can make an effort. I would also consider the car a privelege and not a right she is taking away from you. If you can walk to school you are close enough to do extracurricular stuff and have a social life that way.

[chanelCHIC]

i would LOOOOOOOOVE to get a job! that would be great. the only problem is that my mother does not get home until seven at night....it would be impossible to get to my job at a decent time. she is my only transportation. otherwise, i would totally pay for the repairs myself.

 

I considered the fact that she may need to pay for something else, but she assured me in January, that when she got this money, the car would be the first the she paid for.

 

(i have to walk like 2 block home from the school bus stop. I wish i could use my moms car to go to school

[abitbroken]

i would LOOOOOOOOVE to get a job! that would be great. the only problem is that my mother does not get home until seven at night....it would be impossible to get to my job at a decent time. she is my only transportation. otherwise, i would totally pay for the repairs myself.

 

I considered the fact that she may need to pay for something else, but she assured me in January, that when she got this money, the car would be the first the she paid for.

 

(i have to walk like 2 block home from the school bus stop. I wish i could use my moms car to go to school

 

You are two blocks from the bus stop so you don't need a car to go to school. I had to drive 25 minutes to get to my school and that's why I used their old car. Otherwise, I would have walked, too. Are there any businesses within a mile of home that you can walk to and get a job at or what about near school and have her pick you up on the way home? What about a Saturdays only job? If I were you, I would seriously concentrate on school work to get the best opportunities you can and enjoy not having to work to put food on the table.

 

Also, stop acting entitled and whining to her. It is possible that she thinks you are acting spoiled, so why should she fix the car? Also, you may have no idea what is involved. if it has been sitting, maybe it needs more work than the car is worth.

[chanelCHIC]

idk where my sense of entitlement comes from; after all ,there are countless 17yr olds w/o cars. thanks for the advice.