Husband & Wife Uses Porn...

[plainsimple]

I'm getting this off my chest - I'm not sleeping at night, and it is getting confusing. Bare with me on the subject. It hits the heart plainly.

Wishing I hadn't gone there, my wife and I have checked out the porn channels on satellite quite a few times. Over time, we both have had the chance to be side by side and reach orgasm, while watching the events.

It gets tricky! Someting hit me in the head so-to-speak, because I am one jealous son-of-a-gun. We've elected to stop watching, and doing things that way. Now...yes, over time, and by myself, I have used the channels to reach orgasm. Quite a few times, I won't be bashful, and she

doesn't know. Here's where the kick in the stomach comes in. Sharing the other night in the closest of conversation, because we do share - I get hit with, well she told me that she used the porn channels to climax by herself at least 5 times. Please help with this if you can? I am going crazy with this, because I have looked at it from two view-points. I do it - it bothers me now, but I'm a guy. And I must have did it 20 times more than her, going it alone. Now, knowing that my wife was laying down on the couch, turning on the channels and getting herself there, is almost to much to bare. I've had time to think about this, and people I'm having serious anxieities over this. I'm trying to blame myself for my own, yet I'm devastated by my wife getting off that way and enjoying it. She gets a fairly good climax when we were together doing this. I hate to think about what's happening with no one else there. Why is this bothering me so? I can't seem to grasp it, and I don't know which way is up. I should be focused on my own usage, but her getting there by herself is to much for me to deal with. Just the thought of her enjoying it, and letting go to something else has me shell-shocked. She says it was about 5 times. 5 times to much for me it seems. She has stated the last couple of days that we can put it all in the past. Not easy for me to do I'm afraid - my wife's panties were down, and she was reaching orgasm, and loving it I'm afraid. Then there's me. I out-clocked her by 20 times sadly. I feel bad, but it is affecting me differently. I can't rid myself of these feelings, and I'm losing the struggle fast. I should never of asked her to start with the channels. Now I'm choking on the results. If you know where I'm coming from, my wife enjoyed watching other men with women. This is very hard to swallow, and I haven't managed it yet. How can a man pass on his own usage, still hurt, but yet be devastated by his wife's getting off to it. To me, when you use porn, you mainly focus on it. That means she was completely focused on it while I was at work. I can relate of course, but her end of it has me going crazy. Your wife releasing to other things is very personal to me, but I was a culprit as well. I can't win. Just that sticking thought, of her reaching that sexual plateau by herself is...brutal on me it seems. Pay-back is a bitch, I guess. I'm not going to get over this any time soon. Give it to me everyone - I need ideas!!!

[Sebulous]

if you feel this might affect your marriage, tell your wife it. Tell her the sacred act of sex with your spouse has be removed and placed into your television set. Tell her that it feels nice and great, but you feel that it might tear away at your relationship. It could create a problem where niether of you is needed in your sexual life and thats where divorce / seperation / problems come in.

[OceanEyes]

Hummm ...

 

You're not being fair or honest. It's okay for you to sit around and masturbate to naked women, but when your wife enjoys the same pleasure, you're upset about it? And your explanation to it is, "but I'm a guy"?? I think most men would like to think that women are only turned on by them ... and only them ... but this is not always the case. Women have fantasies and pleasure that can be all their own!!

 

If you were against the idea of pornography I would have a more sympathetic answer for you, but the fact of the matter is, you sit around while she's not there and do the same thing! Why can't voyeurism be a visceral experience for her too? Doesn't she deserve to experience the same human right as you do?? Be fair!

[funkygirl758]

I can't believe that you are upset about this. You sound extremely selfish and very much like a cave man. You need to let go and get a grip. Seriously. You are married and that is a strong bond, but you are still two individuals. It would be different if she cheated on you. But you both watch this like it is a fantasy and there is nothing wrong with it.

[tiger_lilies]

I fully agree with the above posters. It sounds like you are jealous of the T.V. ...Or jealous of porn...I'm not sure what. Perhaps you feel that you are the only person who can/should get your wife off?

 

She is doing nothing wrong...she has the right to explore her body the same as you. Let it go. Why do you feel that you have to control what she does?

[OceanEyes]

She is doing nothing wrong...she has the right to explore her body the same as you.

 

Exactly. It's wrong to assume that you have a right to explore things and she doesn't because 'you're a guy'.