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The weekends are always the hardest...


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Because they give me a chance to comtemplate on how much my life sucks and how it's not getting any better. Yes, I am receiving help and I am on medication, but I just started so naturally it hasn't made me feel any different. Actually it makes me feel pathetic that I can't even help myself anymore and that I'm relying on some pill to make me feel less worse. I think of all these ways to try to make myself feel better, even faking happiness like I did before, but in the end I'm stuck being miserable. Everyone who I was once friends with real life and on the net has abandoned me at my lowest. I just want to die so badly, yet I can't seem to do it and I don't understand. There's no point in living anymore so why can't I just put myself out of my misery?

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