getting jealous too easy, help me

[ltensail]

this is my current life situation - i like a girl(let

s call her queen) who like another guy(and for him, idiot). idiot don't like queen but is gettin on very well with queen's group of friends(all girls) and queen. he is so popular among them. here comes problem one - I GOT JEALOUS! i don't wanna confront queen or idiot about my jealousy because it will show that i'm inferior. problem two - everything gets bottled up inside me, gettin jealous and unhappy. i don't wan to show that i hate idiot because i'm sure that this will make queen backwards from me. what should i do in this dilemma? i'm getting more n more jealous. idiot even tease queen's friends and queen online by using msn messenger nick. this may seems childish, but i see idiot as a flirt(am i right?) and he is sure of his bonds with the girls that he is kinda indirectly telling everyone his popularity. he always like to fool with the girls. FCUK. though the previous few facts are my assumptions from superficial evidences. i start to doubt if idiot is really interested in flirting or the friendship with them. plz scold me if i'm totally wrong! i think i have really negative personalities.

 

queen once said she like me but in the same time, she don't know if she should give up on her good idiot so she is quite confused. but i said earlier, idiot don't like queen but is goin well with her. my assumption - i think that idiot is maintaining queen's love for him and in the end, queen remains unclear who to begin the love relationship as long as idiot keeps making queen happy. so i'm thinking that i must show that i'm good. QN 1. what should a guy(me) possess in order to make a girl(queen) love him(me) so much that she(queen) is sure that the guy(me) is suitable for her and becmoe gf? in another words, i expect girls to answer this and tell me what most girls expect a guy to have so that girls won't hesitate to be his gf?

 

plz help me ans what i've asked. i posted once but receive advices that are not really useful.

[vitalcoaching]

Hi,

 

What you want is to be popular with girls.

 

Your jealousy is envy. In fact sounds like you wish you had his skills.

 

Want to be popular?

 

The number one quality is self confidence. Strangely self confidence seems to be even more important than looks!

 

What you want to develop is your dating, flirting and social skills, right?

 

Once you have extra power and confidence (not arrogance), everything flows naturally.

 

That's the first thing you need to wake up in you. Once you feel confident with girls and in social situations, you'll stop being jealous.

 

Confidence has to do with personal power. Again, once you have it, it gives you the base to take steps naturally without forcing anything.

 

check this link.

 

cool tips and flirting techniques which truly work

 

link removed

 

good luck and stay in touch

 

vitalcoach

[ltensail]

hmm...u helped me before. are u a trainer or coach or sth? ur advises really helps and u answer in a professional way. thx but i'll come back if i have problems again. one more qn: does trying to be popular means that i'm a guy with negative personalities or jus sth bad? hmph..y do i wanna be popular? and be around girls too!?

[ltensail]

oh great, the site is useless coz i cant spend money on internet. so jus know to be confident

[vitalcoaching]

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be popular and successful with dating. You are on a good track with that. In fact it's precisely the sign that you are perfectly healthy. So no personality problem here (phew... Luky aye?)

 

Thanks for your feed back by the way. Yes. I'm a professional life coach. Means It's my job to help people in challenging situations and support them in getting what they want from life.

 

I enjoy as well giving free advice to help. That's why I spend some time in these forums.

 

Sorry about the link, should have guessed.

 

You can check free resources on my site: surf a bit a round. You'll find lots of useful tips you can use.

 

link removed

 

Feel free to stay in touch if you have extra questions.

 

To tell you the truth, when it comes to character building, it's like training. You train yourself and integrate new skills in your life.

 

This means it takes experimenting, trying, gettting feed back and support, etc.

 

When you try, it's normal to get rejected in the beginning. Don't let any set back stop you. You'll remember forever your new skills.

 

This article on how to handle rejection will useful as well

 

link removed

 

Good luck!

 

vitalcoach

[ltensail]

hmmm....i feel that confidence cant solve the problem about the dilemma i've mentioned. i'm not able to accept idiot, seeing him around girls esp. queen but i cannot not accept idiot... what should i do?

[vitalcoaching]

I'll be direct, okay?

 

what idiot does is none of your business. You are trying to influence something your can't control.

 

The only thing you can do is focus on your life and have an impact on what belongs to you: your actions, behaviors, attitudes, thoghts, emotions, etc.

 

Being jealous is your way of psychically fighting with him. You can either keep on being jealous and be okay with it. Or you can let go, realise that jealousy is consuming you and consciously shift your attitude.

[ltensail]

ok...i get what u mean. i'll just be myself and don't care about him right?

but there's still a problem. he does approach me and ask me questions. everything he approached me, i'll keep my mouth shut, ignore him and walk away. then this idiot will ask queen whether i'm angry at him. then queen will ask me if it's true. i know if this goes on, queen will find out that i dislike idiot. but i DON'T WANT to talk to idiot so what should i do? how can i change my mindset about idiot that he is a good guy?

[vitalcoaching]

what kind of questions does he ask you?

[ltensail]

sometimes when he sees me playing basketball, he will ask me why am i here. there's one time when he offered me a bun because he don't want it but i ignored him. sometimes he may look at me and smile. he is such a freaky idiot

[vitalcoaching]

doesn't look threatening to me... You're overreacting.

 

Relax, smile back and focus on your own thing. Think you're clever than that.