promises.

[Sk8r55]

online convo

me: frank said that you promised him you wouldnt kill yourself, and i asked you to promise that to me, and you said you couldnt promise me that... but why can you promise him that?

me: heh

her: ....i dunno

me: *sigh* im just jealous

me: cuz like... what if you asked me to promise you something, and i said no, then one of your friends asked, and i said yes to them...?

me: would you feel jealous?

me: heh

her: yeah.. i would be jealous also

 

whats going on? this is my ex girlfriend here. and she supposedly still loves me, and i love her. she broke up with me cuz of depression problems. and frank is my friend... i dunno whats going on... can some girls answer to tell me whats going on? is it harder to make promises to people you care about more, or does she care about frank more?

[lisaria]

hey sk8r,

Not neccessarily. Maybe she feels more comfortable telling one of you the truth and not the other. It is much easier to tell someone who isn't close to you the truth when it comes to something that will hurt someone that you love. Is that making any sense?

You don't want to hurt the one you love so you don't tell them the truth. You sugarcoat it. Has your g/f had any help with her depression? You're a good guy for hanging with her through her problems even though she's pushing you away. I hope it works out.

lisaria

[Celadon]

Yes, Sk8er, it IS easier to make promises to people who matter less to you. It's called "doing the social thing." Someone says, "You're not going to kill yourself, right?" and they look earnestly at you, and you don't want to get into an argument with them, so you say, "Right."

 

I know you feel jealous. I would too. But you have to remember that your ex-gf's problem with depression isn't a reflection on you. If she's continually depressed, she needs some expert help.

 

By the way, I don't mean to worry you unneccesarily, but if you feel like she's using you as a crutch, it might not be good for her. Some of us INTEND to help, but we just enable people to stay stuck in their problems instead. Just make sure you trust her to get better by herself, regardless of your help. Don't make her dependent on you, 'cause that's not good.

[Sk8r55]

yeah. thanks... well, she has been getting professional help for a while, and im not here for help with her depression... she's already got enough people trying to help her. shes on a ton of anti depressants and anti psychotics. oh well.