Do you believe in friendship between male and female?

[lipstick]

well.....my question actually says it all, but let me tell you my problem...

I have a boyfriend. About a month ago, i found a new part time job. The job is nice and so are my coworkers........One of my coworker, he is a male about my age, is very friendly with me..... he knows i have a boyfriend.... ...but he thinks i am a great person and he wants to be my friend........a best friend......First i though he was flirting with me...but a few weeks ago he asked you want to be my friend"... and i said sure, why not......but now i don't feel comfortable about this friendship.....and is not about sexual heeling or anything else, we don't have anything between us....but i've never believed in a friendship between male and female......Now , my new friend always with me around lunch break, now he calls me on my cell phone and invites to a double date (i, my bf, him and his new girl that he just picked up). He doesn't have a girlfriend. ....He invites me to the movies, to his party even with my bf.....but i always say no, cause im not comfortable with that........i haven't told my boyfriend about my new friend, cause i think he won't like it.....well, i tried to imagine myself on his place and i don't like it either.......I just don't believe in frienship between male and female.......i always think that there is something more that he wants from me.....or when he calls me i try to hide it from my boyfriend.......once he even called me on sunday at 10 a.m. , when i was sleeping with my bf, and asked which color t-shirt whould he buy, because he is at the mall right now and can't decide...........i want to end this relationship...i dont' know if i am right or wrong but i'm not comfortable with that......How can i do that? and should i do that? Or do you believe in friendship between male and female??

[Kaizer_Zero]

If you feel like he is hitting on you, let him know. If not, he justs wants to be your friend. I have a gf and best friend that is a girl. Yeah, my gf gets a little jealous sometimes because I like to talk to Sam, but she knows there is nothing between us besides friendship. Sam is close to me, but nothing physically, we just have trust in one another.

 

So yeah, if you feel like this dude is macking on ya, tell him, but be easy on him.... Or, if you just wanna be friends with him, tell him where you draw the line.

[lovelorn]

MMmmmmm Truth be told it is possible for a girl and a guy to be friends but only in certain situations and circumstances. eg.... you might be friends coz he used to date an aquaintance or something which would just make it weird if you wnet out or some tother situation where you are kinda forced to be nothing more than friends.

Your situation is a very prickly one, you should explain to this new friend of yours how you feel and that though you want to be friend with himit might not be a good idea to be very close,.. like say calling at 10 am on Sunday is not appropriate.

Hanging out must be minimal coz bottom line is that you have a man, and having another guy in the picture is not cool it complicates things.

Finally coz you feel guilty about it all the more reason to tell this guy to back off whatever his intentions are.

Your guiltiness should be an indication girl.

good luck

[Here2Help]

Setting aside the issue of male-female friendships, this coworker is a little creepy and forceful in how he approaches friendships. He's the type of person who suddenly names you best friends and then proceeds to use you for his own needs. A guy like this "preys" on you because you seem nice and agreeable. He could have done this to a male coworker, too, but since he chose you, I think there's some kind of sexual interest, as well. You're right to feel there's something wrong with this.

 

Now back to the male-female friendship. It really depends. First, the male could be gay, so then there's no problem. Second, it could be a friend because you are both happily in commited relationships and you only see each other when the significant others are there, too. Third, it could be a friend from school that you keep in touch with and see occasionally for lunch. There's nothing inherently wrong with males and females having friendships, but the real problem is that when there are 2 heterosexuals, there's always a sexual component, and then you are instantly on somewhat tricky ground.

 

In your specific situation, forgetting the general question you're asking, I think you have a real problem on your hands and you need to tell him you can only be work friends, PERIOD. Make up some kind of white lie, such as your boyfriend is the jealous type, and when the work guy tries to counsel you that your bf is too controlling (counseling out of self-interest, I might add), tell him yea you're really lousy at picking guys and always hurt the nice ones, or something to that effect.

 

 

[sweetie_33]

i dont think there is a probelm when u have a friend "boy" and ur a girl, even if u have a bf...i have a bf and a best friend and he's a boy, my bf doesnt have a problem with it as long as it makes me happy!!! but if u think that this guy is hitting on u, then talk to him and tell him how ur feeling abt the way he's treating u... and if u wanna end this friendship, just tell him that u dont like it when u talk to guys this waay and u have a bf, and that it makes u feel uncomfortable..im sure he'll understand!