Feel healed, but when do things stop being weird?

[matador1972]

Been seperated for 6 months, im pretty much over it, have no desire to get back with her and I struggle to remember why we stayed together so long. For the past 5 or 6 weeks my ex has had a new boyfriend who is splashing out a bit of money, he got my daughter a laptop, he's taking her and my wife on holiday to his private villa in America in June.

 

When my daughter tells me these things though it makes me feel weird, im not jealous of the guy, actually dont harbour him any ill will at all, if he makes my ex happy then im happy for her, but even though i dont want her back, and im happy now myself, why does it make me feel * * * * * and think about things when im told about this guy?

[Car Chick]

I would feel that way too, especially when he's doing all these expensive things for your daughter. For me, that would be the weird part, because I want to be the most important person in my child's life and when he spoils her so much, it's natural for a parent to get jealous about that.

[Tanzi]

I completely understand that. I am way over my ex-husband but whenever I hear he has a new girlfriend for some strange reason it still affects me. I have put it down to the fact that even though I don't want him it still hurts to think that he wants somebody else other than me (ie. better than me). I guess I still don't want to believe there is no-one better than me ... its a defense mechanism maybe ... to make us feel better. Who knows, but you are not alone in your thoughts.

[Dako]

Maybe you still care about your ex's happiness.

I always want my successor to be a good guy.

 

You might get used to it.

[matador1972]

Thanks for the replies, i do want my ex to be happy, we are still good friends, and although we are currently not seeing each other, im quite sure long term we will be good friends again and do things together, its just too soon at the moment.

 

Was funny, after i posted this, i took my other daugther over to my ex's and she told me that he had offerered to get her a laptop too which she refused (she hasnt met him yet and dosent want to), she thinks its a bit off that he's doing these things to win favour with my daughters and see's it perhaps for what it is.

 

Anyway, was good to have an insight

[rigguy]

Assuming your ex's new guy is actually a good person perhaps he offered your daughter a laptop so that there is no jealousy between sisters. I may be giving too much credit to people I don't know. You are in a better position to answered that question than any of us. Cheers.