2 yr relationship break up/Help me!

[lonesome0180]

Well I just had a 2 year relationship. It was very hard for me when my ex broke it off. I did the no contact rule. Let me tell you this works, kinda. She called me one day and asked me out to dinner. So we conversated. She told me she like some other person. But will always love and care for me. Till this day even though we are not together she still wears the jewelry i gave her and the pictures we have taken together still in picture frames. After the dinner we hung out almost everyday for the past 2 weeks. Now, yesterday the guy told her that he will give her time to think things through. But she still persists on hanging out with me. She told me she was little bit hurt from what he said and didnt listen what he had said to her over the phone. After she got off the phone she gave me this long kiss and said I love you. I still feel like bf/gf but no title or label. I know she knows that I want that. She told me only time will tell and let everything flow through. She would also call me for advice on her family problems and i have been supportive all along. No matter what she would call me if theres a problem, I would be the first one to call be called on. How long do i have to wait to be titled as bf/gf? thanks

[tiger_lilies]

You'll have to be patient, really patient. Just make sure that she's not stringing you along for her own benefit. Give her space and time. I'm sure she'll come around as soon as she realizes what she might lose. Good Luck!

[Michael2]

I think she is stringing you along. Unless you like being on the back burner that is.

 

She will continue this behavior if you allow it. Not be negative here, but I think the main reason she is coming to you with problems is because you are her comfort blanket. In addition, things with this new guy didnt work out obviously so she went directly back to you. Be careful with this one.

 

Once they break your heart, and you continue to allow them in , no matter the circumstance, they will continue to hurt you. If she is confused, let her be. She only comes to you with problems, yet doesnt want the committment, do you want to be labeled her friend, because sooner or later you will be in that category; and once you are there, it is difficult to get out. DOnt fall victim to her games, she may not be doing this intentionally, but unfortunately she is. She has her cake and is eating it too. I know that analogy is old , but it fits.

[lonesome0180]

I confronted her that i do not want to be a side dish. She says im not. I dont know

[Michael2]

She is stringing you along my friend.

 

Do her actions mirror her words. Ask yourself that.

[lonesome0180]

what do u suggest i should do, thanks

[peachents]

Do NC 4 at least a few weeks.

 

I was in same situation and she jumped in2 bed with the new guty days after jumping out of mine.

[kate111]

I agree with Michael2's advice that in order to tell whether she is using you as a comfort blanket you should look to whether her actions mirror her words.

 

How to do this/giveaway signs:

 

* She demands your time, attention and advice. If she is using you as an 'agony aunt' because she knows that you are in love with her and uses that to get attention and advice then im sorry but she does not have your best interests at heart. She is using you.

 

*She wants to talk about things to you instead of desiring you as a lover. If she is excited by you she should inititate sex or be interested in it at least.

 

* If she comes to you after things go wrong with him, then she is using you as a "first reserve".

 

* If she talks all the time about how she doesn't really like the other guythen I would be suspicious that she is syaing the same about you to him.

 

She is probably so thrilled to have two men fighting over her. Don't let her have her cake and eat it too. Tell her that if she wants the other guy, then go have him and to leave you alone.

 

Tell her that if she doesn't appreciate you then there are tons of girls who would.

 

* She