Not used to give or get attention

[Tarkan]

I met some foreign girl on the plane

 

we liked each other, we dated,we kissed. It isn't official yet but we're more or less together. Before leaving for her country ( she'll be back in 10 days ) she called me future bf. This is all great and good but here's the catch:

 

Never

 

Ever

 

In my whole life have I been with someone. Exept maybe for that one relationship 4 years ago that lasted for a month. I think I'm in love and I want the best for her. But I don't know how to handle all the presure. Also, she likes alot of attention but I'm always bothered by the idea of coming over as too strong or too indifferent.

 

I never learned how to do this.

 

The sole fact that we like eachother is rare. I think I've been in love before but I was never loved back. Don't want to mess this up ! pfff, this is all a huge change for me ... I used to have that single's life where I would mostly care about me.

[pinkelephant]

aww!! that is so cute.

 

you know, not everyone knows what to do --even with experience. everyone is different and we all just learn as we go along. the key is to pay attention to the other person and try to understand how they feel and acting accordingly.

[Tarkan]

The problem is that it feels like I have to learn everything over again. I never had to pay attention to a SO, never had to read their feelings. Life as a single is easy ( and boring sometimes ) because you just have to care about you. Well ofcI care about friends and family but it's not the same.

 

With the years, I've become a semi-lazy person that lives on his own rythm of life. Now that someone entered my life, I suddenly have to watch out and look after someone. It's something exiting to do but also exhausting at the same time.

 

Right now it feels like I will never manage to take care of someone. My hart hardened with every year I remained single. I'm like an icecube ... slowly melting.

 

Maybe I should tell her this ... I don't know. I'm very confused at the moment.

[pinkelephant]

well, tarkan, the relationship has to take time to grow too right? it's not going to be expected of you to be her everything right now and then. take it one day at a time! there's no rush. =))