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It's been 2 months...how often should I expect him to call?


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This is my first real-world adult relationship. With all my previous boyfriends, we were in school together, so one way or another we would always see each other during the day and calling was never an issue.

 

My current boyfriend and I see each other only on weekends (though sometimes randomly on weekdays too). During the week, he usually contacts me every other day, either by calling or texting. This is very unusual for me and I don’t know what to think. I am used to hearing from my boyfriends daily…so naturally I am a bit unhappy that he seems to be distant.

 

I realize that it is still early in the relationship but as I said, I am used to my boyfriends being in contact everyday…and by their own initiative. I know I can be assertive and call him but I am hesitant, because it seems that if he wants to talk to me he would call me and his not calling may be indicative of his interest level….

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Some people call to chat. Some only call when they have something to say. I think seeing each other only on weekends is completely normal, as my bf and I only see each other once or twice a week at least. As for calling and texting every other day, I don't think you have anything to worry about either, so long as you keep lines of communication open and keep up with each other daily.

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I realize that it is still early in the relationship but as I said, I am used to my boyfriends being in contact everyday…and by their own initiative. I know I can be assertive and call him but I am hesitant, because it seems that if he wants to talk to me he would call me and his not calling may be indicative of his interest level….

 

I don't understand how women can be all about gender equality and all that stuff, yet still saying things like this.

 

If he called everyday he would either get bored of having to chase you around like a puppydog, or you would get bored for pretty much the same reason (he no longer presents any kind of challenge or whatever you might wanna call it). You feel bad that he only calls you every other day, yet you NEVER call him?

 

And honestly, you think that he is going to feel smothered by having to talk to you ONCE a DAY? Even just to say hello, exchange pleasantries, etc.? Where are you going if you can't stand to talk to each other once a day?

 

If it's every other day like clockwork, especially, he's probably sending you a sign that you should call him on the other days to say your hellos or whatnot. No way you can feel like you are smothering if you are calling as much or less than him.

 

Now, that might not be the case. Maybe he's just not a big phone talker. Still doesn't mean that he should be the one having to initiate contact all the time. I would get bored of that pretty quickly. I mean, I'm fine with initiating the first few dates or whatever, but eventually I would want to get back what I put in.

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I rarely speak to my boyfriend on the phone, there's no need really if we're going to see eachother. If we haven't been able to see eachother much and haven't talked we'll give eachother a ring. But otherwise we just text if we need to say what time we're going to be around, what time we're going somewhere etc. We've been together almost a year and it isn't that big of a deal to me if we don't talk on the phone often. He says he doesn't like talking on the phone much, neither do I, I think it's better just talking in person.

 

Everyone's different I guess. Maybe he just doesn't feel he needs to talk every day for a chat. Every other day doesn't seem that bad to me. I wouldn't worry.

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It isn't being assertive to call him - it's being reciprocal. In his place I would take your lack of reciprocity in calling as a definite sign either of disinterest or an unwillingness to put in to the relationship as much as I was. That would be a turn-off that could lead to me ending the relationship.

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him calling you every other day is not a big deal at all. as this is your first real world adult relationship you have to expect some adjustment, its different from college when you see them constantly and have a lot less on your mind. calling every other day does seem pretty reasonable to me, I dont like talking on the phone so I dont call much other than to say hi and see how their day went. I think you're over thinking this

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