Still missing my ex G/F

[mazxs]

this is mazxs.

 

thanks for your replys.

 

I wish I could find all the words to describe how low i'm feeling, it been like 5 months almost 6. i still think about her and how much i want to hold her, but i can't. i love her so much i fell so stupid, all my friends just say that i have to be kept busy do things, go out see people and stuff like that, but all i can think about is being with her.

 

i saw her in town today, but i don't think she saw me, she was by herself and with new love bite on her neck . so i all i can think about is her being with this kid (he's only 20) and them having sex together and stuff like that which, is really getting me down.

 

i do try and put her out off my head but it does not seam to go away..

 

i had my scan in february. got some spot's came up on my xray .

i wanted her to be with me, but she said she could not make it, i felt so gutted, i was sitting in the examination room crying my eyes out.

 

 

i had to take these pills to kill of the growth cells. i had to do it all by myself, i just could not tell my friends how bad i was doing, mentally and physically. I took my pills and it got all cleared up, felt like crap through the whole thing (being sick etc). i Just wanted her to hug me and tell me things are going to be ok, but she was not there, i missed her so much.

 

i just did not want live with out her, i called her up, crying on the phone saying how sorry i was for leaving her like that and not being there for her, and that i had to go and see my sister (read my first post). and how i have changed and i would spend the rest of our lives together doing things like travel and stuff.

 

But when i saw her today with those love bite on her neck, i just went home and cried, it getting so heavy, trying not to think about her and this kid.

 

It her birthday in June what do i do, send her a card, flowers or nothing.

My friend just say that i sould just send her a card keep it plain and simple. I was going so send her load of flowers, like what they do in film and fill her house with them, but my friend thats stupid a bit overboard.

I fell it what i should do but, i don't know.

 

Should i reply to her emails or not just not talk to her, txt her call her. I'm feeling like so stupid, just crying all the time. Missing her with a big hole and all those years with her just gone, and i have this emptyness in my life.

 

i'm just crying typing this post to you know, but thanks for your reply i will try and hold on. (i have ben having these really dark nasty thoughts of not living anymore, i 'm hoping i don't do anything stupid.

 

she sent me an email saying that she is getting engaged to this kid and that she's happy, and we can only be "friends" as she put's it. What does that mean "friends" i'm getting so lost. I'd never had feelings like this for a girlfriend before, i wish all pain would just stop.

 

thanks for your reply, i need all the help i can get, so thank you.

 

i miss her so much..

[VickiRose]

Hey mazxs,

I am sorry to hear what you are going through. Obviously, she has moved on. From my opinion, the best option would be to cut off all contact with her, and just let her go. It can be tough. I have those same feelings sometimes too. It's not a good feeling at all. But you need to focus on your health, and stay in a good healthly condition. Take care of yourself, love yourself, you will find better. Think about the negative aspects of her, and why the relationship didnt work out. She wasn't there for you, when you needed someone. Hopefully, you will find someone who will be there for you when you need them the most. To reach that let her go, and be open to finding a new love.