broke NC after 89 days

[lovinlife]

well, here's how it went down. my ex called my best friend and said that she had some of my things that i left behind when i moved out nearly 3 months ago. i went NC the day after i moved out. i wasn't aware that i left anything, but the big things were my birth certificate, ss card, and medical records. i could have sworn, no i know for a fact that i packed them before she changed the locks on me. most of my stuff that i had packed in boxes was left in our place with her and her new woman (yes i'm gay and the new woman is 23 years older than my ex). anyway, there was also a necklace that my ex had given me in the box and a few other knick knacks.

 

so..when my ex called my best friend, she asked her if she could drop off my things at her place for me. i really don't know exactly what my best friend said to her, but she said something about her not wanting to get in the middle of stuff and why couldn't my ex just call me and talk to me about it.

well, my ended up just dropping my stuff off on my best friend's door step and my best friend got aggravated about it.

 

well, because there was important stuff in their of mine i sent my ex a test saying "thank you for dropping off my things and hope you had a nice b'day and holiday" peace, *****" i kept NC on her birthday, which was in december, and thanksgiving and christmas. i moved out mid october.

 

i was VERY appreciative because of all the personal info of mine that she had. she sent back a text saying "sorry it took so long to get it together and hope all is well, ****"

 

these texts occurred yesterday and i did not text her back. i plan to stick to NC. i was truly grateful that she dropped my things off so i thought it appropriate to send her the text. i honestly did not expect to get a response.

 

what do you guys think? did i do the right thing?

[kvb10]

Hey I think it sounds like you did the right thing. Your text sounded civil and neutral and hers did too. It sounds like you are very strong to have stayed on NC for so long.

[Soprano]

I would have texted her saying not to leave my important stuff on a doorstep. But yeah, very good response.

[lovinlife]

yes, it did touch a nerve when i realized my personal documents were left on a doorstep.

 

i am glad you guys are in agreement. i worked very hard and went through a lot of pain to maintain NC for as long as i did, so i will admit that i was afraid that it would set me back, but it didn't. and now.........i breathe a sigh of relief that i got through the first contact since the break-up. couldn't have maintained NC for as long as i did without this forum. i rarely post, but i read OFTEN.

[rigguy]

Yeah it is kind of a jerk move to toss personal documents on a doorstep but one might think if they were important you'd ask for them way back when. Great job on handling this, sounds like it did not set you back whole alot. Cheers

[nina2009]

good that this contact did not set you back.

 

I would be irritated that my documents were left at somebody's else doorstep. It actually tells a lot about personality of the dumper.

 

Also this topic made me sort of sad...

 

We live 89 (!!!!) days of our important and unique lives filled with events, responsibilities, love, challenges, experiences and then some idiotic message without any sense like "hope everything is good" would be considered as the Humangous life event. And then we sweat, go to this board, compose the response as if our life depends on it....

 

It is so sad....

[lovinlife]

rigguy, i thought i had packed them. i did not realize i left them behind. i would have figured it out when i went to apply for a passport next week though.

 

nina, what you say is so true.

 

i'm so glad that i don't let her control my emotions anymore. what a horrible place to be in.