Don't know what to do

[Tiger]

If you've read my post before about the guy I've been dating, you'll get the idea of this post. To sum it up at little for those who haven't, I've been with this guy for two and a half years, and we had a lot of problems. We took a couple of days off from each other and things have been great so far. There haven't been any problems with us or with anything else. A few days ago he hurt his back pretty bad, so I've been staying with him to help him out. Now the problem.....I had a huge fight with my mother and just needed to vent and I assumed he would let me. I wasn't looking for answers from him, just a little support and he couldn't handle it. Now he's giving me the cold shoulder and avoiding talking to me as much as possible. I don't know what his deal is. It has nothing to do with him and myself, so why is he acting like this? Any advice?

[SwingFox]

Hey Tiger,

 

I don't think there's anything to worry over. What probably happened is that he got scared, thinking that he should take it personal or that your anger was addressed to him.

 

My advice thereforeeeeeee is quite simple. Call him and talk to him. Tell him how you feel and that you love him. Tell him that you're sorry and explain to him what happened. I am sure that he'll get back in business with you. He just might have gotten surprised over what you did.

 

I hope that helps for you. I wish you good luck

 

~ SwingFox ~

[Roadmind]

Hi Tiger,

 

You are right, there is nothing that YOU did wrong. However, whenever another person is in our company and we start talking about our feelings, then the other person has to have an emotional response to this. If you had told the story of the fight with your mother to a girl friend, then she probably would have joined in with comments about her and her mother.

 

Your boyfriends buttons were pushed by the experience. It has to do with how much stress a person can bear. Hurting one's back is physical stress not to mention the physical pain. Eyes that do not see, and ears that do not hear, heart that does not feel.

 

Since he saw and heard you, an emotional response was triggered inside of him. I would definitely talk to him and say you were sorry that he must have experienced some bad feelings and that you were not trying to scare him or hurt him. Who knows what past emotional hurt he has suffered in the past, now brought to light with the back pain.

 

You should not feel guilty but instead be more sensitive and understanding of what your boyfriend felt. Try not to probe, but tell him that if he ever wants to talk about this you are there to listen to him.