The one that got away.... influenced by others???

[tmills0011607306452]

I know that I should move on but all I would like to know is how others perceive this story. Over a year and a half ago I started dating my ex. We immediately hit it off and were very passionate about each others. About 5 months later she asked if I would move in with her. I agreed. At first everything was great until we started to butt heads. But we learned to grow past that and work out our differences. I gave her everything that I was, and gave up many of my passions, interests , ect and was very happy with that. After some time I even started to think as if she was the one.

 

But more so than often she would come home stressed about school and work. It seemed that she would take her stress out at me, but usually I would let her cool off, and then approach her. Even though she was stressed she loved me very much as well. She was always very considerate and put me before her.

 

Then once we moved into another apartment, things seemed to get a lot better! We were doing everything together, and really couldn't be apart. I was sure at that time she was the one! But yet work was still a huge stressor in her life.

 

I decided to introduce her to a few of my female friends that used to live near me. That is when all of the sudden I had seen less and less of her, our sex life suffered and then it leveled out. Things were okay.

 

Yes my ex was going out and meeting new friends and having a great time and the relationship was good, and I was suddenly hit with something I never expected. She told me that she was moving to San Diego to take care of her mom in one months time. I was shocked! (Pretty much the same dumped feelings I have now) The next day she was very hostile towards me and treated me like shiznit. I decided to go to a friends hous 6 hours a way to escape for a while.

 

I came back a few days later and we actually talked. I had caught her in a lie about her moving to San Diego, and she started to cry, and asked for forgiveness. Of course I forgave her…. She told me she was moving to Hawaii to be with her mom, but her mom offered to pay for her schooling if she moved home. I thanked her for telling me the truth and we both agreed to a long distance relationship and had a very passionate two weeks together.

 

Then last weekend she was very distant. She never came home all weekend and when Monday rolled around I was down. I knew something was up, and confronted her about it. She explained that she was going over her friends house and were going out. I said okay and she left. Later that night that supposed friend called and asked to speak to her. Looks like my GF lied to me again.

 

After an agonizing few days of not being with her and the times we talked she told me that she was just leading me on, it's done…. I never really loved you. I was devastated.

 

Finnally we got to talk and after setting a few ground rules of her not being angry we talked. The truth came out. She was not moving to Hawaii, but moving to Arizona with one of "our" mutual friends that I introduced. She said that she realized that she was never in love with me and it was out of convenience, and now doesn't find me attractive. But she did say that I was a great guy and wasn't to blame for one thing of the relationship…..

 

 

I know that I should move and forget about her. I do know that her explaination for breaking up with me is a wall, because people just know when one or another is in love with each other… There was definitely that feeling. But she claims there was no cheating involved and in reality, I believe her about that.

 

I feel that she got a tast of partying and being with a whole new group of friends are a blame for this rashness. Any opinions of how someone who loves someone else very much and just stops??? I would love to have her back because she is an awesome potential mate, but I know I need to heal first before I can consider any relationship with her, friendwise and maybe the...something more hopeful.

[jujigatame]

She lied to you. She told you she never loved you. She told you she was only with you "out of convenience." She even pulled the "you're a great guy, but..." line on you!

 

Don't go crawling back. All it'll do is put you in a position where she can be the ruler of your life and hand down her pity to you as if you should feel blessed to have it. She kept you wrapped up in a situation she knew the whole time was nothing but a fabrication for a year and a half, broke your heart, and you still value her? I'm sorry, but I can't advise that you keep your hopes up for this one. It sounds like she's a snake. Leave her to stew in this. Rest assured, it'll catch up with her in some form or another later on down the line.

[SwingFox]

Hi tmills,

 

Welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us with your history. I am sorry to hear that things didn't work out the way you wanted them to work out.

 

I have a feeling that this young woman does not know what she really wants and looks for in a relationship. On top of that, it does look like that she was only there with you, because she needed the support she found in you earlier. I am not sure if that's being fair. You might or might not work out, but with her moving to Arizona, things will start to be long distance anyways, which make things only be harder.

 

You already mentioned that you think you should move on and I really would advice you to do so, no matter how hard it is. Bring yourself back into the dating circle again.

 

I wish you good luck

 

~ SwingFox ~

[tmills0011607306452]

Thanks all... Yeah it make huge sense. I am moving on. But it would be real nice to have emotional stability instead of this rollercoaster BS!

 

I had another talk with her today, and she was highly agitated since I wanted to explain my point. She pretty much tore me down and was making up excuses of why she left me. A few things she said were valid, because I would like to learn from my mistakes. But she had shown me how she could use someone to get ahead.

 

Tonight she is staying home. And every action towards me is pissy and negative.

 

Well..... Definatley will not stay with a person that "drags" me down. Yeah, I lover her, but I think I have finnally seen her true ugliness.

 

Now the question is how to occupy my time to heal!

 

That and I will never date 21 year olds again! well, her. I was the greatest thing she will ever have in a long time. thx all!