G3LesPaul Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 Hey all. Let me start out by saying I am VERY inexperienced when it comes to relationships. I have had only one real girlfriend and that last almost a year and a half. I ended it because I wanted a more adult relationship and experience new things (Im 19) We were not sexual AT ALL, I mean nothing, which really didn't bother me during the relationship, but when I ended it, I could tell it was one of the reasons. I want to experience that passion sexual love, stuff like that, ALONG with the emotional attachment. That being said, there is this girl at my campus. She is really cool, nice, and seems like something could happen. But there is a problem I fear. She is extremely religious, which I have no problem with 100% (being an atheist) Now knowing what I don't want in a relationship from my past one, I fear that since she is this religious, she will have the same "views" about sexuality in relationships, but then again its always different from each person. Now I really don't care if she choses that, that is her choice, but from what I want in a relationship, it is what I want to experience. I don't want to end up dating her and then being unhappy and then breaking her heart because of something like this. Please help! Thanks! Link to comment
Sanesoul Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 I would say to steer clear of her. Being at the opposite end of the religious spectrum makes you pretty incompatible in a lot of ways. I'm not saying it couldn't work, but if a sexual experience is one of the main things you are looking for, you might get burned. Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 She is extremely religious, which I have no problem with 100% (being an atheist) Now knowing what I don't want in a relationship from my past one, I fear that since she is this religious, she will have the same "views" about sexuality in relationships, but then again its always different from each person. might be worth investigating a little further. you're so right...it really is different for every person. maybe your fears are rational...and maybe they are completely irrational. you can assume you know exactly what her perspective is...but until she lets you in on that...you'll never know for sure. do the two of you speak much? Now I really don't care if she choses that, that is her choice, but from what I want in a relationship, it is what I want to experience. I don't want to end up dating her and then being unhappy and then breaking her heart because of something like this. hmmm. that's tough. can you really avoid pain though? maybe you can. but think of all the things you'll be missing out on if you do. life isn't just about being happy. there's a whole mix of other things that are all a huge part of it. again...ask yourself if your fears are really rational. is it possible that you're getting way ahead of yourself? it's pretty much impossible to know if you'll be happy with someone forever. too much uncertainty. seems to be the whole point of getting to know someone though. sure...there's inherent risk in that. do you avoid everything with risk though? Link to comment
G3LesPaul Posted January 7, 2010 Author Share Posted January 7, 2010 I would say to steer clear of her. Being at the opposite end of the religious spectrum makes you pretty incompatible in a lot of ways. I'm not saying it couldn't work, but if a sexual experience is one of the main things you are looking for, you might get burned. Are you saying because I am an atheist, I will never be able to date a religious person (which is about 90%) of America? Link to comment
Sanesoul Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 I'm saying that with her being as religious as you say, which is more than most people, your odds of being compatible with HER are slim. I stated in the same post that it is not impossible though. Link to comment
smiles21 Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 I wouldn't worry about it. People are intitled to their own views. Catholic school girls can be quite the creatures in the sack. I wouldn't be worried about that aspect AT ALL. Link to comment
G3LesPaul Posted January 8, 2010 Author Share Posted January 8, 2010 Well I just don't want to end up hurting her in the process of something that could be avoided, something so small as this. Has anyone had experience in an athiest dating/married etc to a religious person? Link to comment
KevinR Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 It all rides on her, really. If you have no problem dating somebody with religious beliefs, great. But she has to be comfortable dating somebody without them. My advice, if you like the girl, is to go for it; ask her on a date, but don't even think about discussing religious views with her (for the first few dates, if she accepts your invitation). If anything is to happen, this subject WILL eventually come up and will be discussed then. You'll never know until you try. Link to comment
G3LesPaul Posted January 8, 2010 Author Share Posted January 8, 2010 It all rides on her, really. If you have no problem dating somebody with religious beliefs, great. But she has to be comfortable dating somebody without them. My advice, if you like the girl, is to go for it; ask her on a date, but don't even think about discussing religious views with her (for the first few dates, if she accepts your invitation). If anything is to happen, this subject WILL eventually come up and will be discussed then. You'll never know until you try. Well the religious view is not really the problem, is her sexual choices is what I am concerned about, that is, if it can suit what I am looking for Link to comment
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