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feeling angry at her all over again...

JEastern

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JEastern Apprentice

JEastern

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The long story of my on again-off again relationship is posted here already, and just about 3 weeks ago she told me she met someone while we were together and started dating him right after she broke up with me. We've had no contact since right after she told be about this new guy. People say it helps...well, lately I've just been missing her more. I silenced her contact information from my phone, so any calls/texts/emails I will not be audibly notified of...but everytime I get emails, especially into a certain account...I hope there's something from her. I'm at a point where I hesitate to look cause I know there won't be anything from her, but I also don't want to be let down by seeing that there isn't.

 

Yesterday, a close friend of mine had brunch with my ex. She talked to her about guys and asked my ex if she was dating anyone. She told her that it's some guy that works at the same company she does, but they are in different departments and she'll "see where it goes". She might also bring him to this formal fundraising event later this month that I will be at as well. Immediately after telling her this, she told my friend that she feels really bad for what happened and that I'm a really cute and really nice guy and that things just didn't work out (what is that really supposed to mean?). My friend continued to tell her that I'm doing a lot better and that I'd like to hear from her. The ex said that she hasn't known what to do about the communication part.

 

Well, I've heard nothing. I might see the ex at a social event this week, and I honestly don't know how I'm going to act around her. I'm feeling angry again that I was dumped and replaced, but now it's so much more. The lies, the deception, the fact that this new guy is for real...but she feels really bad which makes me feel a little better. As with people who date, they're probably having sex by now which makes me sick to my stomach. I know I shouldn't care, or shouldn't be thinking about, but that's easier said then done.

 

So, it's 5am, and I've been up all night thinking about how angry I'm feeling. I still don't know why I'm still thinking about her so much. I still care for her a lot, and quite frankly, I miss her just as much. I still think about the little kisses on the cheek, and the time spent just laying in each others arms...now she's doing that with someone else. How should I act around her next time I see her? What do I talk about? What if she brings up things between us? I really don't think she gave it a fair chance with us...or why would she have been 'shopping around'? Part of me wants to tell her to take a hike, and the other part wants to take her back.

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Panzermensch Apprentice

Panzermensch

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Friend,

 

I empathize completely. I've been there; hell I am there still.

 

The one thing I can tell you, from my own experience, is that sticking around her not only wounds you, but is likely to enable her to move ahead with the other relationship in a more confident and... well, basically, better way than the relationship you had. Something which, if you let her tell you about it, will quite possibly rip you to shreds not only through jealousy, but also envy.

 

Here's for staying up all night being angry. I'm on my 24th hour while typing this. So excuse it if I'm slightly less cogent than desireable.

 

While it doesn't help a bit, know that there is worse pain than yours. And that you can risk experiencing it if you don't look out for yourself before her. Nourish the anger. It's there for a reason.

 

Good luck.

 

h.

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Psychomagnet Rookie

Psychomagnet

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Do any of you think that I should let her know I'm angry? Do you think she'd ever come back and apologize for what she did?

 

Nope and possibly but right now isn't the best time to tell her anything, she is seeing someone else = it's not her business, besides, Telling her you are angry won't have the effect you are perhaps seeking AND it will make the new guy look 100x better to her.

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JEastern Apprentice

JEastern

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Pychomagnet, thanks for the reply. Remaining indifferent in social settings with her is the thing for me to do. I have a lot of other friends at these things, so I'm just going to have a good time with the people who care about me.

 

I have to maintain my dignity and not sell out over emotion. It's hard to do...

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