Panzermensch

Day 1: Having been caught up in a triangle of all things, I have decided that my ex is just using me. Using me to satisfy her own need for control, now that her new guy has her eating out of his hand. This means that all has been a lie hitherto. My dreams of reconciliation and a family- just vapors. And the wonderful past 3 weeks? Just remembrances of dead tears. So. Saturday I destroyed my cellphone part in anger, part in order to facilitate NC over the holidays. She won´t have the guts to call me at my parent´s house, so that leaves only email by which she can reach me. And that I can ignore. This IS going to be hell, though. I have huge problems with the holidays in the first place, and now I´m gonna go through one without her. Somehow I don´t think my liver will appreciate this move...