6 years thrown away

[gurlzheartbrokn]

I don't seem to understand exactly where things start to fall apart. My fiance and I were happy for years, then lately, he starts acting like he doesn't want a part of me. He even told me that the thought of him marrying me, doesn't cross his mind anymore. I do everything for him, and give him everything he wants. All I ask for in return is for his time. Time alone, time for us to spend together. He works Mon.-Fri. 5am-5pm. When he gets home, if he doesn't go out with the guys, I'll see him for 2 hours, until bed time. Everyday for 5days. The weekends, I feel its his time to spend with me, if I am his everything. Yesterday, we woke up, made love, and within 30 minutes, he took off and was gone for the day. When he returned, he had a whole bunch of friends, and just blew me off. I told him how I felt, and he said things would be different tomorrow. Well, now its tomorrow. He woke up and left about an hour later. I am left home alone, he won't invite me anywhere with him, and whats worse is I have no friends. I am so lonely, with no one to talk to. We live together and now he wants me out... I don't know what to do. My whole life was based around us, now it looks like there might not be anymore. Anyone have any ideas to help me relieve the pain? My hearts broken and I don't have anywhere to go.....

Desperately seeking a miracle in Washington

 

Kat

[Wagga]

Well looks like he is bing very unfair to you. Normally when guys don't want to be with someone and is scared of hurting them, they tend to ignore them. So I think your guy is ignoring you so that you will get sick of the situation and leave. This makes him the "victim" even though you are suffering. My advice to you is talk to him and ask him what's going on. You seem like a decent girl and you or anyone shouldn't be treated like this. He is being very selfish. My ex acted in a similar way before we broke up. You should have a talk with him to find out if he wants out. The truth hurts but at least it's the truth. Because at the moment you are hurting and you are in the middle (not sure where the relationship is going). Good luck!

[kerri]

Hi there,

 

sorry to hear your going through hard times.

 

You sound like a nice girl, you deserve more than that guy.

I think your primary focus should be in finding a place to stay, can you not stay with any relatives? is there nobody you can turn to? surely this guy will not see you out in the street!

 

Once you have established a place to stay, then I would concentrate on creating a new life, with a REAL man who will care and look after you. You can then focus on getting some new friends, easily done through work, clubs, etc I found myself in the same situation when I broke up after a long term relationship. I had given this girl 100% and had dismissed my friends, so I felt totally alone when we broke up. But since then i have found new friends and ive just started going out with a new girl and im much happier than before! even though at the time i felt my world had ended.

 

I really hope things turn out ok for you

 

dont look back..

[Mr. Good Man]

Hi gurlzheartbrokn,

 

Reading your post took me back to a previous relationship. I was just like your man.

 

My problem was I took my lady for granted. She did everything for me. On top of that while I cared for her and told her that I loved her I wasn't "in love" with her.

 

I wouldn't spend any time with her because I just didn't want too! I was there physically but absent emotionally.

 

Eventually, I realized that she didn't deserve to be treated that way and I told her that I couldn't be with her anymore. She was hurt really bad! But, she got over it and thanked me for being honest and letting her go!

 

I don't believe there isn't much you can do except talk with him. I've learned the hard way that words are meaningless unless they are backed up with action.

 

What are his actions telling you? If you can answer that question honestly you'll know what to do.

[ConfusedBloke]

Like Mr Good man, that sounds so much like how i have been with my ex (which is what led her to find a new guy). This advice telling you to find a guy who will look after you probably isn't what you want to hear, as you want to be with this guy, but back to how it was!

 

Well looking back what I wish my ex had done, would have been to speak to me before it was to late, as i knew what i was doing, but felt secure in that i had time to come round, so just kept doing it.

 

If she'd have said something along the lines of, "i love spending time with you, but you dont want to anymore, i think this is causing a big problem in our relationship, maybe we need a bit of time apart to think about it"

 

well then i would have had the shock i needed, but still had time to make a go of it, a second chance if you will.

 

Joni Mitchell was right... with us guys sometimes "you don't know what you've got till it's gone.."