Wanna get back..

[Azure13]

Ok so I guess I want some advice...

 

I started going out with an amazing guy, we were really good friends; talked joked around, etc. etc. But after the first month or so of the relationship, he just stopped talking to me as much, a whole lot, actually. Anyway when I approached him on this he'd just say he didn't know what to talk about w/ me, anymore, hes not used to having a girlfriend, etc. etc. He broke up with me close to two months ago. But I really cared for him and want him back.. he insists that we're not meant to be.. that he doesn't love me as more than a friend anymore b/c hes realized he "cant" love me as more than a friend.. that we're not "compatible" even though we certainly were compatible a few months ago.. we always talked so much before all of this. I have tried getting him back but it doesn't work. Everyone seems to think he is too immature to know how to deal with a relationship, and that is what went wrong. Is there anything I can do to get him back? If I completely stop talking to him will it make him wonder, and possibly want me back? I have been trying to get him back since we've broken up, but I think I've been pushing way too much b/c I just care about him so much and just want to be with him again.. he says maybe one day "if it works out" we'll get back together.. but refuses all my efforts to get back together with him. We are supposedl;y friends right now but he still doesn't talk to me. He says it is b/c he needs space before we can be friends again. But I still want him back as my boyfriend. Any tips on what I can do to win him back?

[PyrettaBlaze]

It seems that, after reading your entire post thouroughly, we do seem to be in the same situation... *sigh* I have tried not speaking to my ex at all, but neither of us can completely follow through. one of us always ends up calling or contacting the other... i wish i could give you some advice... my ex is growing more distant when i try to tell him how much i care for and love him. *sigh* i would suggest staying in contact...if you want him back as bad as you say you do, you do not want him to get used to life without you. if anything...start over as friends and build from there... which it seems thats your situation. he is stubborn, just like my ex... i really do not know what to say, as I have the same problem

I'm sorry that I could not be of any help...if you need to talk though, feel free to IM me, the info is on my profile on here.

Best of luck to you....I hope it all works out.

Maybe someone else will know what to say to both of us.....

[Azure13]

Its just that I don't think me talking to him is doing any good, it seems like it is just pushing him further away. We will stay in contact inevitably, b/c we go to the same school and are in the next major for the next two years.. he could easily talk to me if he wanted to. But I am just wondering what to do really.. we have the summer coming up so I am hoping that with that time period away will give him some space and time to sort out his thoughts or feelings, I guess...... then again, I don't know anymore b/c I don't know if I've been pushing too hard to get back that I've ruined any chances for him to let it happen with his own time naturally.

[Belle]

Azure,

 

I think you've hit the nail on the head. By telling him you want him back (I've made this mistake myself!!!) you are pushing him away. I would institute No contact immediately. Take the pressure off of him and yourself. Try to date others Azure. I know this sounds like a hardened way to deal with it but it really does help. It makes you realize that others will be attracted to you and it will make you feel good about yourself so if mr. needs space comes back you won't need him anymore and you won't be pushing him away. And in any event if he doesn't want you back, you'll be on your way to meeting someone else. It sounds tough but just try it. I guarantee it'll make you feel better to know that others think you're the s$#.

 

Belle

[Azure13]

I would do no contact but the thing is he is in all of my classes with me in my major, I don't want to seem rude at the same time by not saying hi or bye to him but at the same time he doesn't seem to be going out of his way to acknowledge or care to talk to me..

[DragonGirl724]

hey hun,

 

we all know its tough but it seems to me that hes very immature & he actually did u a favor by breakin up with you so soon. luckily its only been a month or so & youre PROBABLY NOT in love yet so thats a plus...correct me if im wrong...but i think hes at the age where my EX is at (21) and he wants to be a boy with the boys...its understandable except we had a longer relationship & we discussed marriage looked at rings etc...ugh its hard... but yea i think u should jus give him time. maybe u should date other people if u want. i wouldnt take it personal & i dont think anything u do right now can change his immature state of mind. unfortuantly its scientifically proven (as if its rocket science anyhow) that males usually mature later than most females. take it all in stride i think u guys can become friends hes probably alot of fun to hang out with being a party boy & all! use him as a contact for inside info for the best parties on the weeknds! & when hes ready hell come around, but be sure that when/if he does he truly IS over this boys-will-be-boys crap & IS ready to settle down & become a man.

 

i think ull be ok hun & i think hes lookin out for your best interest as odd as it sounds, and the reason for him not callin etc is b/c its easier for him to handle it that way or maybe he doesnt know any other way (especially b/c he never had to worry about other peoples feelings before). this is all new to him give him time to grow. and if u dont remember anything i said in this post jus make sure u remember this: DONT BEG FOR HIM BACK!!

 

best of luck to you.

 

-DG724