Recipe for Success?

[Arctic Wolf]

Hi!

 

I was wondering about the manner and order of actions from when you first "discover" someone to when you're well underway with the whole dating game experience. So basically, the setting is as follows: I'm with some mates in a pub, and I spot an interesting girl (let's call her Laura). Before she even knows I exist, I ought to have a vague idea of how I should approach her, if I should be a gentleman and ask for her number or a date at the end of the evening, where I should take her on the first date, and so on...

 

So what do you think? Is there a down-to-earth etiquette? A set of rules and regulations that everyone ought to be aware of?

 

 

Wolf

[Richard-]

Different girls want different things. There's only one thing that remains the same, if you don't approach her then you'll never get her number.

[easyguy]

Hi!

 

I was wondering about the manner and order of actions from when you first "discover" someone to when you're well underway with the whole dating game experience. So basically, the setting is as follows: I'm with some mates in a pub, and I spot an interesting girl (let's call her Laura). Before she even knows I exist, I ought to have a vague idea of how I should approach her, if I should be a gentleman and ask for her number or a date at the end of the evening, where I should take her on the first date, and so on...

 

So what do you think? Is there a down-to-earth etiquette? A set of rules and regulations that everyone ought to be aware of?

 

 

Wolf

 

The only rule is to be yourself, if what you want is a relationship, not a fling. There are so-called "rules", but some of it is just BS, like how many days to wait to call. If you meet someone who reciprocates attraction to some degree, then the games won't even start. I certainly do not speak on behalf of everyone, but it's all about first impression. Laura has to at least get a vibe from you, even if you do not exchange vast amounts of information when you initially meet.

 

My girlfriend liked me right away, even though I didn't say anything about me when I first met her. I talked on and on about a trip I recently took, but spoke with joy and fulfillment. She was attracted to the fact that I was passionate about something and wanted to share it. Respectively, I knew nothing of her. I didn't even catch her name until the very end.

 

I found her on Facebook the next morning and the rest was history. We're both young adults who have our heads on straight and have grown to really care about each other. I am just as myself in the relationship now as I was the night I met her, and on the first date, and second date, etc. It's a dream come true: To be completely yourself and to be loved by someone you love. It's solid ground for a long-term relationship.

 

The most important thing is confidence, which isn't a rule in my opinion. I asked her the night I met her, just before we left, "I have to go now (I really did), let me get your number" without any hesitation. Nothing passive about it. It is not always easy to do, but you just have to go for it.

 

Just get into the habit of meeting people, as it will gradually improve your social skills. When you develop habits by experience, you do not have a choice but to be yourself. After you've met two dozen women, for instance, even without any intention of dating any of them - just making a connection - then will be that much more comfortable and confidence approaching the next woman. You will learn to not worry about the outcome, but to just be in the moment. If someone doesn't like you back, you knew it wasn't meant to be.

 

Hope that helps. Others with more experience will certainly provide much different perspectives. Good luck!

[coldplay.]

hahaha

 

open

attraction

transition

qualify

comfort

seduction

relationship

[jscars8]

I've been having a good deal of success at bars with the following approach...simple, simple, simple.

 

Ideally, wait for them to notice you in some way even if it's as little as a passing glance. Then go right up and say "Hi". She'll say hi and then you say, "What's your name?" She'll say Laura and will likely ask yours. You give your name and say, "It's nice to meet you, Laura, how about when you finish that drink I buy you the next one?" She's unlikely to say no outright. The worst I've ever experienced are "maybe" or "I'll think about it" which are somewhat playful responses anyway. You then say, "Ok, I'll be over there. Oh, and so you know, if you don't come I will be heartbroken." This gets a laugh everytime. The ball is then in her court. If she isn't interested you won't have to feel like your burdening her with your conversation attempts. She knows you're interested and if she comes it's reciprocation. If she doesn't, you can take solace in that many women won't come simply on the basis of looking cool in front of their friends. They usually come though and it makes it pretty easy to follow up fairly aggressively to secure a date/number at the drink's conclusion.

 

To me, breaking the ice is the toughest part and this approach simplifies it. It's very easy for me to converse once we're into it and I have absolutely no qualms about asking a girl out once engaged.