spent Xmas together/ do they do that if there's no hope?

[Wonderment]

If there is no hope.. do they spend time with you if they're all the way shut off?

 

we do have a kid but he is really weird about it, remember his parents dont even know.. he isnt all THAT into doing great stuff for the baby.

 

He spent last wednesday with me, asked me if I wanted to go Christmas shopping the following Sunday. Spent tonight here, gladly and came right away when I asked him if he wanted to.

 

2 weeks since break up.

we did 4 days NC.. he texted me about an xmas gift for the kid the same day I emailed him and said I was fine being friends now. I didnt know he texted though, my phone was off. (he texted before I emailed)

 

He went home and he's right online now..when I was NC he stayed offline all the time.

 

Just wondering.. he seems distant.. but he DID take a toy to fix, Im sure thats his excuse to come back soonish. Im just wondering how much time and energy an ex.. who doesnt want you, will spend hangin around.

 

what say you?

[newinvention]

I say there's 100% more of a chance in your situation that things can work out than mine - at least you have heard or seen something of them. I'm NC 29 days now.

[hopelessincan]

well you know my story, and he spends all sorts of time with me. All i can say is its confusion, or ego

did he call you first?

[Wonderment]

well K, you know my story, but.. he texted at like 4 pm yesterday. It said like, "Hi, can I bring a gift over? I dont have to stay.."

 

(you know the analyzing that goes with 'I dont have to stay' rather than 'I wont be staying' lmao)

 

My phone was off so I didnt get it.

 

I meailed him at facebook saying just "Hey! Wanted to say Im over the trauma stage now and ready to be friendly when you are."

 

Because, last we spoke, I said "are we really done?"

He said yes.

I said I couldnt be just friends and begegd a little.

 

so I was telling him I was fine now. Im not "FINE" but Im honestly okay and riht after I couldnt admit/ accept that it was really over. I was devestated feeling. Im not now.

Just mildly hurt.

 

So,'s, after my email he checked online for me several times.. he finally texted me to an email account I never check.

 

He implies he was out getting a gift for the kid and wanted to drop it off at 4. But at 7 (second text/ text to email) he was home and STILL wanted to bring it. He's 25 minutes away about.

 

I was all "Oh noez.. Im sorry, its too late"

 

we continued to talk in IM. (remember he was offline 24/7 while I was NC for 4 days)

 

He signed right on this morning. we talked off and on.

 

I ended up saying, "You can still come tonight if you want"

He said, "You sure its okay?"

I said, "Yeah! Im really fine and in mutual agreement that we're sucky 'together'. I dont even have any brewing conversations in my head!"

He said, "Yay!"

 

He came..was kinda distant.. I was fine..I seen him look at me a little bit sheepishly a few times.

 

Let me add: I am POSITIVE he is trying to hit up on an old ex on facebook.. Ive seen all the signs.

 

But, he isnt all into fatherhood. so.. Im not sure if Im a time filler.. I'd imagine I am because I am POSITIVE he wouldnt give me the time (or come for the baby) if he had a girlfriends house to go to tonight.

[Wonderment]

Brings up another question.

 

Is all really fair in love and war?

 

Would you wait... spending time together, keeping the connection ( I know I can unless he meets someone.. but thats what I mean 'is all fair in love and war' ) and knowing that in 3-4 months he'll probably be sick of not finding anyone and come crawling back?

 

We broke up for good reason... it was needed. Im about 50/50 that he'll be back. UNLESS he meets someone.. would it be settling if I took him back? Because, we ARE broke up.. *I'm* going to date (if I find someone I would NOT dump them for him back)