Can't quit delusions

[TracesofHavic]

My ex-boyfriend and I broke up about 7 months ago. He left me for someone else. But since then we've been involved very seriously. He won't leave his girlfriend, yet he tells me he loves me. I was out of state and he sent me $290 for a bus ticket to come home to be with him, saying he wanted me to be with HIM. I came back, and finally told him for the first time, I wanted him to break up with his girlfriend. He refused, and we got into an argument. He says he won't leave her, because he's afraid there might still be something there, and he won't if there is. He says that he messed up with me, by leaving me when there was still something there, and doesn't want to repeat a mistake. I'm so confused about how to handle this, any help would be appreciated, thank you

Tami

[fantasia2004]

I will take a stab out of this one . Do not torture yourself with this one. I think you should let him go and pursue other men who will love you and respect you.. Sure you are prone to fall in love or back in love with someone who you ended things with but if he is unsure of what he wants then drop him. Plain and simple. Love yourself. if not, you will pay the consequences.

I did that and felt guilty of allowing my ex to walk all over me . No more of that he is an ass and he will pay in the end without my doing. And he is dating someone else for 7 months right after we broke up. So I can understand what it feels like.

 

Save yourself from any other hurt or heartbreak. You will lose this game if at all it is a game. I am still seeting from this yet he is having fun with someone else why should I not too?

 

I hope this helps.

[pip]

You've got to look out for yourself here. This guy is obviously trying to have his cake and eat it too. He simply can't keep two girls going at once. That's not fair to anyone, especially you.

 

I really think you should "leave" him. Tell him that you don't want to be involved with him anymore if he's going to keep doing this. I know it's tough, but you have to do it. Trust me, if he really wants to be with you, in time he will leave the other girl and come back to you.

 

This guy is emotionally confused and selfish. I'm sure he's probably an otherwise nice guy, but don't encourage his bad relationship behaviour by hanging around. Trust me: it won't be until you leave him that he'll wake up. If you stick around, he'll just keep taking you for granted. It doesn't matter how much you love this guy: anyone who treats you like this doesn't deserve you.

 

Don't be a doormat for some man. Have respect for yourself. You're a great person who deserves to be loved properly. Say 'enough's enough. I deserve better than this'. Good luck

[lisaria]

Hey traces,

I am sure you've seen this before but it's true. This guy has the best of it. He's got you and he's got her. He gets tired of her for awhile and he goes to you. Gets tired of you and he goes to her. What kind of relationship is that for you? It's great for him but really lousy for you! Get out sweetey. Don't let him use you like that. He says he doesn't want to make a mistake by leaving her when there "might" be something there? What the crap is that? Where does that leave you??? How long are you going to wait around for him to make up his mind? Come on girl! You know what you need to do. It will not be easy. We all know that. But do it anyway. You have to for your own self-respect and peace of mind. He's got his cake and eating it too. Don't do that anymore.

Are you guys living together or anything? Do you feel like you owe him something for buying your ticket home? If so, then work a second job until you pay it off. Do that for yourself, not him. Do the no contact thing too. Show him how strong you can be. You don't need him. He seems to think he's got you where he wants you, show him he don't. You have to take back control of your life and quit waiting for him to make the decisions. Sure you'll have bad days, I've had bad weeks, where you want him so bad it hurts your whole body and soul. But get through those without contacting him and you'll be proud of yourself. At least for a while, a month or more. What else is there to do that would be best for you? Not him. YOU.

I really hope you feel better soon. It's the hardest thing you'll do, but it will make you stronger. You'll get through it and learn the lesson you need to and move on to something better. If he wakes up and realizes he wants you then all the better for you, but if not, you'll know you can make it on your own and there is something better out there for you.

You are stronger than you think and remember hon, You are WOMAN!!! Stand tall and proud. Don't give him any of your power. Hang in there. If you need to rant come on up here. We are all going through or have been through where you are now. Sometimes it helps others when we do that, so do it. It has helped me tremendously, and the people up here are very caring and will be there for you. No matter what you decide to do. I wish you all the best.

Lisa