seeing her in public...how to react?

[JEastern]

Hey everyone,

 

So my last post described how I found out the girl who broke it off with me a few weeks ago had actually found someone new.

 

Last night, I saw her at a holiday party. I had a close friend of mine keeping tabs on me and acting as my support. I was having a good time, catching up with friends, and meeting some new people. As the evening went on, she showed up to the party, alone. I didn't go out of my way to talk to her, so after a little while, she came over to me and started some small talk. I responded to what she had to say, but when the topic ended, I had nothing new to offer to the conversation. This went on for a bit.

 

My friend and I were heading off to a concert that my ex was also planning to go to. Originally she mentioned how she was gonna stay at the party for a while and make her way over, but a few minutes later, she told me she was going to walk out with us.

 

At the concert, she went off to watch the band for a little bit, but came back over to the group. She kept standing near me, but not saying anything, while I was enjoying the good music and atmosphere. Later on, in the lounge, I was sitting on the couch, and she came to sit on the other end. She started talking to me again. We had some civil conversation, some laughing, but I generally resisted from getting into deep conversation.

 

So am I reacting to this properly? Last time I tried NC, it went about a month and we were back to being great friends which lead up to being more. I am really hurt by her and as much as I don't want to talk to her, I do want to talk to her...because I think we'll end up being friends after a bit of time goes by. I haven't initiated anything, all the conversations last night were initiated by her...so what does this all mean? How should I be responding?

 

Thanks in advance.

[luckyman]

I think your doing everything well. She was initiating all the convos so you at least know that shes giving effort to atleast being friends...who knows how she feels right now about the relationship...but really seems like balls in your court, you could either do NC till your fully healed and ready for a friendship...or play it cool with LC...how do you feel last night went in your opinion? better or worse than expected?

[JEastern]

I think I did a lot better last night then I originally thought. I was genuinely enjoying myself at the party and the concert, and maybe I felt a little better that she was actually initiating conversation with me. I was a little bummed out when she left before I did.

 

I'm not sure how the ball is in my court. I think I'm just going to play it cool, but not initiate anything. She has pulled way back from contact, so what does that mean? Is she scared of me not responding? Is she feeling guilty? I'm sure the new guy has something to do with it.

[ghostdog]

ur best bet when u see ur ex in public or somewhere is to play it really cool.

 

like u've already moved on with ur life and are not watching her.

 

she'll then start to wonder why in the world ur not all grasping for her attention like u used to...especially when she first broke it off with u...that'll make her crazy...

 

it wont' necessarily mean she's ready to come back to u if u do that to her- but most likely she'll start to question her decision which is a good thing...regardless if u want her back IMO.

 

i mean if u were to swoop down there when u saw her and started begging for her attention- trust me it would be a major turnof for her...

 

women are crazy like this.

[JEastern]

Yeah, I did my best to play it as cool as possible. She knows this situation is hard for me, seeing as that I told her that on Friday. Last night, I didn't follow her at all, I basically remained indifferent...but I could see her glancing over to me every now and then. Remaining indifferent is the best way to go...just keeping it cool.

 

Only thing is though...she claims she does really like me, but can't bridge the gap from our friendship to relationship. Was this relationship enough for her to look back someday and realize what she lost?

[JEastern]

Also, is there a point at where you play things too cool that she thinks you're OK with the situation?

[newinvention]

If I ever see her out with a group of friends, I'm going to untuck half my shirt, mess up my hair, stick food in my teeth, and run right up to her and start blubbering really loud, "WHHYY????"

 

It'll be great!

[JEastern]

Haha, good for a laugh!

[KurayaXIII]

Just act like yourself, just like before you dated her. You could go on NC or LC just to make her wonder and don't talk about the relationship until she initiate it.

[JEastern]

yeah, I'm going LC...I'll talk, but she'll have to initiate. I just don't know if she's even thinking about the whole situation. I mean, she's been dating since...