Talking to people your attracted to

[ATLstudent]

So i have not commonly been the aggressor in situations, my HABIT WAS to just look interesting and wait for the other person to make a move.

Screw that, i am tired of doing that, and not talking to the ones i want

I dont know what it comes from. although i can remember my parents embarasssing me if i like someone when i was growing up, so maybe thats it, not wanted to exposed who i was attracted to.

 

Either way, last night, i made a move at a party. Saw a gorgeous girl who was one of the most attractive girls i had seen in a long time, and i just made the move and went over and talked to her. She was a sweet heart and it went well, although she had a boy friend, it didnt matter

 

It was really nice just going after the one i wanted, this may sound like nothing new to some people but for me, i used to just find someone in the room, and make it awkward by not making a move, and now i am just following my feelings more.

 

I also find that its better for me, usually the ones who makes the moves on my are bad for me, so i am going to try life in my terms from now on

 

Question: Are your relationships started from you pursuing someone, or from someone coming after you?

[lila...]

It's interesting you post that question, I posted about a similar situation not too long ago. The guys who pursued or approached me I wasn't really interested in. I realized that in order to talk to the guys I did find attractive, I'd have to take the first step. In your case I think it's harder to take the passive role waiting for someone to approach you because you're a guy and your chances are small.

 

There are two times in my life when I took that first step. With the first one, I realized if I didn't make a move, he wouldn't notice me. So I went for it, and pretty soon we started a relationship- short-lived, but relationship nonetheless The second one I actually asked out for coffee or something, and that went very well too...if it wasn't for me later flaking because of my fears, I'm sure it would've been a very positive experience.

 

So with me I've had better luck when I've approached the guy, maybe because I have a good eye and know who would make a good match for me lol. You have to take chances because who knows...the guy/girl you want to approach might actually like you back too but he/she's too scared to approach you.

[JusticeLaw9]

I always tried to let women do most of the pursuing toward me. For some strange reason, whenever I've tried to pursue or show interest it never worked out; only when I acted as if I didn't care about them or that I didn't call them as much they would call me or want to hangout and do things.

 

But that wasn't the way to go, honestly. Cause most, if not, all of those women back during that time were no good for me anyways. So nowadays I have a simple rule I follow: I will pursue, but I won't chase after you. Meaning if you're trying to put me on strings and pull me in all these different directions, you got the wrong guy. And I won't stand there and game back with you, if I find you're like that, you're gone. No need to waste time.

[dr_styles]

I don't need someone to come after me (it'd be bloody nice though) but rather to know I even have a chance. Like they have to show or respond to basic interest. It's a bad habit I'm slowly shaking, but in the end if the girl's not attracted (and pretty much no one is) then it makes no difference.

 

I mean how many successes do you see on eNA where the girl has not shown any, because all the ones which were a success have always had stuff like "he/she looks at me" or does some other thing like that.

[Anyway]

Question: Are your relationships started from you pursuing someone, or from someone coming after you?

Women show signs of interest (eye contact, smiling, the usual stuff...) and I act on it. It's like dancing, man leads.