Why do men withdraw?

[JusticeLaw9]

Doing some research here, why after a few months into a relationship do men withdraw suddenly?

 

1) They are trying to regain control over their emotions?

2) They are not sure if you both click?

3) They are after the chase

4) They want to see what you will do?

 

Part insecurity, part fear.

 

We get nervous just like females do. We're afraid of being hurt, having our emotions toyed with. So sometimes as a defense mechanism we ignore our emotions and try to play the role as if they don't exist, but they really do.

[BriarRose]

Withdrawing temporarily could be from a whole lot of things but withdrawing completely means that he just wasn't interested.

..

Exactly. How long are we talking about? A day? A month?

[HeartBrokn]

..

Or, you could go for women who don't play those games. But men tend to lose interest in them. The women that Joshb describes pose a much greater challenge, I suppose.

 

Yeah I think you are right. I have to resort to boring girls I guess

The thing is it's alright to play those games at first but when those games continue into a longterm relationship I don't want anything to do with them. The problem is that those girls lose interest when you don't continue to play the games.

[BriarRose]

Yeah I think you are right. I have to resort to boring girls I guess

The thing is it's alright to play those games at first but when those games continue into a longterm relationship I don't want anything to do with them. The problem is that those girls lose interest when you don't continue to play the games.

..

The right woman who wants to be with you will not lose interest. Maybe "those girls" will (the commitment phobes and unavailable women), but a healthy, single woman will not lose interest just because you aren't playing games.

 

However, as long as you define her availability as "boring", it is more likely that you will lose interest.

[fawndango]

I often withdraw when;

 

1. Theres something on my mind that I find difficult to talk to my partner/girl I like about.

2. Im upset / unhappy.

3. Im stressed.

4. Im tired.

 

...but this is only for, like, and afternoon or something, not a couple of days.

 

I dont think men withdraw because of the relationship. Its just what we need to do to unwind or get our heads back in check.

Women like to talk about their day if it was stressful. Men like to sit infront of the TV and forget about it

 

Hmm interesting, to women when this happens all of a sudden we start to freak out and wonder if there is something wrong with the relationship, and we don't know what to do.

[fawndango]

Part insecurity, part fear.

 

We get nervous just like females do. We're afraid of being hurt, having our emotions toyed with. So sometimes as a defense mechanism we ignore our emotions and try to play the role as if they don't exist, but they really do.

 

So when this happens how are we supposed to react to this? And how does the withdrawing part work.

[NowandZen]

Sometimes, for some people, when you don't know what to do, doing nothing seems like the safest way to go.

[thedriver]

Hmm interesting, to women when this happens all of a sudden we start to freak out and wonder if there is something wrong with the relationship, and we don't know what to do.

 

For me, you should/would just carry on as normal as long as your not nagging me about it you'll do no harm. If i decide I want to talk about it, I will eventually.

And points 2-4 can be solved with a bed

 

Its natural for men to do this. Its a caveman instinct. Been running round all day killing deer and dinosaurs, we come home and just want to chill out

[Rangafro]

^^ This one always fascinates/intrigues me. I was always under the impression that if you like someone a lot, it makes you happy and you want to be with them more, but apparently it has the opposite effect (in some cases), and they run away instead. Can any male here explain what that's all about please? It confoooozes me!! lol.

 

They could be afraid of the expectations, responsibility, commitment, intimacy, interdependency, threat of abandonment or any combination of the above, plus others I can't think of from the top of my head. It isn't always as simple as whether or not you like someone. Personally I often have conflicting feelings towards getting close to someone. It's not healthy I don't think, but I don't want to speak on behalf of anyone else with respect to that.