Women: What can we men do to let all of you know that...

[sfboi415]

...we're interested in you beyond a typical friendship? I'm sure that there are tons of guys worldwide who have settled in to being friends with a lot of women, which is cool. But if a guy has a long record of going to each college class and winding up with yet another female friend instead of something "different" (such as a girlfriend/casual lover/flirt mate/collaborator in a non profit organization) isn't just right. At that point friends begin to wonder "OK, what's he doing that is wrong? He looks handsome and athletic enough, an active student, great job, yet how come he can't seem to move out of his shell when it comes to women?

 

And so, I'd like to ask the females out there, when a guy begins to flirt with you what are some of the things he'll say or do that instantly (or eventually) places him at a level beyond the infamous AGF, or Average Guy Friend. Three or four things at least..

 

Take care, and I look forward to your suggestions!

[bzborow1]

I'm a guy, but I think you should tease them. Don't be so nice! Women hate nice guys, nice guys become friends. Be cocky and funny around them I say. For example, if she comes to school wearing some crappy ass shoes, let her know! "OMG, You don't normally wear those out do you?" But be funny!

 

The most important thing is to not actually listen to what women tell you they want, because it's all just smoke and mirrors. That is, what they say they want is usually NOT what ATTRACTS them.

[tiger_lilies]

Good question. I was just pondering that myself last night when I got picked up by a very good looking guy at my gym. First time that's happened to me and I was also wondering what his intentions are. I don't mean to play dumb, but I am not the type of person who'll jump into a relationship with both feet. Friendship is the first step to gain my trust. If he can't approch me in a non-threatening manner as a friend would, then I back away very quickly.

 

Flirting is always a great way for guys to get their point accross. Sexual flirting works great for some women. But for me, I look for the genuine person within. Being showered with attention is very flattering. Being told that I'm beautiful works great too!

That's my two cents!

[RandyB]

sfboi415,

 

I'm a guy, too, but tiger-lillies is probably right, but when you arrange to do something with a girl, and you want her to know you're interested, make sure it's not just hanging out with a group of friends, or even double dating. Do something alone with her. Dinner is a good start. I wouldn't shower her with gifts or compliments though. That might come accross as desperate, the last thing you want to do. Also, notice how many personal questions she asks you..if she does, she is interested in more than just a free meal...and to try to make some kind of physical contact with her..something non-threatening just to see how she reacts. If you touch her at all, she will know you're attracted, but don't be too aggressive about it, or she'll think you're just looking to hook up.

 

RandyB

[Tom_Bombadil]

My question is is that once you establish a friendship with a woman that you're interested in, what should the guy do if he wants to take it a step further? The majority of friendships I've had with women didn't go beyond just being friends.

[Mr. Good Man]

I'll tell you a secret that's not really a secret but men tend to forget:

 

If you appear to be unavailable and in demand many women will want you!

 

It sounds like an oxymoron but it isn't. Here's how it works. When most women see an attractive guy (or any guy) with a different woman regularly they want to know, "Who is he and what is he doing that have all these women talking to him?" Unfortunately, they are not aware that each of the women may be your friend.

 

Some of your friends may like you to please them sexually. Others will not. My point is everything must start with friends but don't hide what you feel and how you feel. State upfront if you want it to be more but you're willing to start as friends. And please let it be known that you have other women friends that you date and hang out with.

 

You will be surprised how your honesty will help you get more women than you think!

 

As I stated earlier, "Appear to be unavailable" and you will pretty much get the woman you desire coming to you! It may not work all the time but most of the time.

 

As for four things that could move you up the list:

 

1. Sense of humor - Women love to laugh and have a good time

2. Ability to talk about everything not just sex

3. Be spontaneous and adventurous - many women hate being bored and love excitement

4. Be honest - there are enough liars out there so be different and stand out in a crowd.

[RandyB]

Well, I've never started out as "just friends" with any woman and had it turn into more. I've heard women say, "friends first." Baloney. I only "date" women I feel romantic about already and it never starts as just hanging out if I have other feelings. That's why I make it pretty clear from the start. I am friends with women, too, but they are a different breed entirely.

 

RandyB

[NightLily]

Well, I am a woman unlike many of the male posters. For me, I feel most comfortable if the guy begins out on some sort of a friendly level. I would say the way that you would keep yourself from becoming ONLY friends is by having some sort of light flirting going on. Nothing overly intrusive or too straight forward. Also, if you aren't interested in going that route, I would say one of the best ways to pick up a woman--the type that might be interested in having an actual relationship--would be to give her an honest, and sincere compliment. No cheesy pick up lines. If a guy told me that he admires my art that would be what I would call a "safe bet." Something else you could say that is FAIRLY safe is to say something aroung the lines of telling her that you noticed that she has the most beautiful eyes. I wouldn't compliment anything about her that has a sexual conontation. She might get shy and kind of.. well, distance herself from you. Unfortinately, its seems to me that sometimes there is just something.. "there." Something that can't really be controlled by either party. I'm sure you know what I am talking about.

 

Well, "happy hunting" heh