should i play hard to get?

[markie b]

ok right lol my girlfirend (30) has started a new job she spends like a hour or so stood outside chatting to colleges when she finishes work,she is usually a nice person and has a good heart and is shy and soft but this job is kind of a soul destroying job she takes grief from people all day and im guessing its left her kind of cold and emotionless (thats how she describes she feels) but she is also treating our relationship that way cold and emotionless,she has asked for space which ive given her begrudgingly because i want to be kind of selfish and be able to see her when i want and be able to make her smile and feel better we have talked abit and ive asked her whats wrong she says she doesnt know she just feels empty and alone (i prysed that bit out of her question by question).

 

now she doesnt want to spend so much time with me its driving me nuts i mean really nuts lol i cant stop thinking about her ive told her (because she never txts me first or calls)that im stepping back and she can txt or call me because i can only run so far until i get tired of chasing her.

she has called 1 time this week but i was asleep and she has txt a few times.

im not sure if i should play hard to get to see if she wants to chase me and how would i go about doing this(im not a game player i hate playing games but if it makes her chase me and want me then great because atleast i know she cares about us).

 

she has recently said she ahsnt any money to buy xmas presents when i asked if she wanted to go xmas shopping with me but she said she would still go.i explained we are in a relationship and that the presents would be from us both!i dont want her feeling bad because i have money or can afford to do this with her!all i want is for her to be happy,she said it maybe the hormones and said she would go to the docs for blood tests but yet her cat has taken priority over her because it had a eye infection and took it to the vets but still hasnt gone to the docs about her hormones.

 

ok so do i back right off or what lol how does this play hard to get thing work?any playing hard to get masters about?im 30 also so not really a kiddy just really bad with my own relationships lol great with everyone elses just being inside i cant look from the outside ive tried tho lol

[HeartGoesOn]

No one should have to play "hard to get" to make a relationship work. You need to take a step back, and let her come to you if she's interested in keeping this going.

[Sanesoul]

First off, playing games is never a good idea.

 

Second, you need to have a talk about what you are both looking for out of this relationship. She sounds like she is going through a rough time, so it would be a good idea for you to be as supportive as you can and respect her wishes. If it's time she needs, then give that to her.

[DontGetStung]

I'm gonna give my "go to" advice in this situation, which is to find another girl you like and make sure your girlfriend realizes you're showing interest in someone else. Should work, and if not, well..you've got a new girl.

[agent1607307371]

How long have you been together?

[PureGrace]

shes your girlfriend so playing hard to get with her will just make things more complicated, either she needs to step up or its a sinking ship....did you ask her if she wants to breakup?

[markie b]

yeah ive asked her if she wants to break up and she said she doesnt and she has told me she loves me.

whilst reading this i got a email from her step mum saying she has always been involved with "self centered emotionless bastards" and she said im one of the nicest guys my girlfriend has ever been with and the fact im nice is probably quite scary because i want to spend time and be with her and care about how she feels it maybe scaring her so i should and this is her words "be more cold and offhand" then she would come running after me ok right so i know this sounds dumb to some but how would i go about being this way?ive always been the type of guy to give it my all and be affectionate and caring and loving and do my best for them?

even her step mum says play hard to get and she will come running she said she shouldnt tell me that and doesnt condone playing hard to get but its the only way to win my gf over and her dad and her really like me and hope things will work out for us because im a great guy lol thats why she has told me to try that lol so any tips?

[Salicia]

First of all, are you comfortable about playing hard to get because from what I been reading you don't sound like you like it. If you truly don't feel like doing something in order to work around someone's level, don't force yourself to do it. Has your gf always been this way on any level, either in a major or minor way? If she's been that way, maybe she's not the right person for you right now. I know I subconsciously play hard to get with guys all of the time. Maybe you both should talk with each other to find somesort of a mutual ground, not something favoring more of her personality or more of you personality.

[markie b]

ok well after the first post i decided to not contact her and let her do some of the input to the relationship so for like 2 and a half days ive been a very good boy indeed ive not phoned or txt (really really really hard not to do by the way lol) and tonight she called at 10pm when she got home she spoke to me for 10mins whilst feeding the cat and making her tea,i had been asking when i was going to see her again and she was like i dont know so i said ok well we really need to go christmas shopping at some point its only 13 sleeps away before christmas day!she was like yeah i know im just not in the christmas mood and have not much money!

i was like ok thats fine i know that but i dont know what to get for your family and kinda struggling with it lol.

she was like yeah i know well we could do it sometime next week i suppose so i said cool so im gunna see you next week then and she was well hmmm yeah i guess so i was like ok.

she was like ahhhh i cant wait for tomorrow ive got the day off and then my ears * * * * * ed up she was like i gotta clean the house and then just do nothing all day,so i said well what about doing it tomorrow then she was like no i just want to do nothing all day so i was like ahh ok lol you must be really stressed out at the moment with your job and stuff and she said yeah i am,and she was like right i gotta go and sort my tea out before i fall asleep standing so i said ok take care and she said well hmm why dont you come over tomorrow im not going anywhere or doing anything?so i paused and have always been jumping at the next chance to see her when ever she wants (she wants space so ive given her it but im not allowed to see her when i want) so i was like ummm yeah can i get back to you on that one and there was another big pause and she said umm yeah oooookkk so i said ok babe take care have a nice tea(i always tell her i miss her or tell her i love her and i didnt this time) and she said ok yeah thanks will do bye bye.

 

now hmmm not sure if i should just go over there tomorrow or not i may do a half and half turn up half way through the day or just wait it out until next week?so she doesnt just see me when its on her terms i do really miss her its gone from a committed relationship to a casual one because she wasnt working before and is now and ive had to take a back burner for a while i guess and she wants days to herself and not be with me.

so im figuring this playing hard to get thing does work to a degree but if you really miss someone and they only at the end of the conversation decide that you are worthy of their alone time the next day would you jump at the chance or play a little harder to get?